Who You'd Be Today
by navycorpsman
Summary: One of Scream's young Soldiers is killed in action. Scream and the rest of the Fire Team can't help but remember the life lost too young and wonder about what could have been.
1. Explosion

**Disclaimer:** Without Prejudice. The names of all characters contained here-in are the property of Steven Bochco, FX Networks, OVER THERE, etc. No Infringements of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission. I swear I don't own the company, the show, or these characters. Italicized lyrics belong to Kenny Chesney.

Please don't hurt me! I have done so much Tariq Drama that I had to throw in another and I knew my head would be on the butcher's block if I _dared to think_ of making it Scream. LoL So here's another Tariq drama! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! _Pleads for mercy!

* * *

_

_**Sunny days seem to hurt the most**_

_**I wear the pain like a heavy coat**_

_**I feel you everywhere I go**_

_**See your smile, I see your face**_

_**I hear your laughter in the rain**_

_**I still can't believe you're gone**_

_**It ain't fair you died too young**_

_**Like a story that had just begun**_

_**Your death tore the pages all away**_

_**God knows how I miss you**_

_**All the hell that I've been through**_

_**Just look, no one could take your place**_

_**Sometimes, I wonder, who you'd be today**_

_**WHO YOU'D BE TODAY**_

_**Kenny Chesney

* * *

**_

Staff Sergeant Silas sat shell shocked in the wheel chair as they wheeled him in. He'd been in intense firefights before, but even Somalia was a walk in the park compared to this. Not one of his men walked away without injury. The two that got it the worse were Dim and Tariq. Silas shook his head and that only served to make the injury worse.

The two young men had become close friends seemingly in an instant. When Tariq came to the squad to replace the injured Bo Rider, he and Dim connected and Scream swore sometimes that one could not move without the other. He wondered how things would be for the squad now, with one of their friends gone.

He heard nothing the doctor said as he was being examined. Scream knew his injuries would heal and he'd be back out on the frontlines, but there was an injury he didn't know if it would ever heal.

* * *

_"Goddamnit! Where the fuck are they coming from?" Smoke bellowed as he shot off anther round. "It's like a flood, man."_

_Tariq never looked at Smoke but shook his head while letting a little laugh escape. "Bogged down Americans? Jesus, Smoke. That's what keeps these guys going." His Carbine never rested._

_Scream kept barking at his men to continue to fire at anything moving.

* * *

_

"Sergeant?" Captain Callahan shook Scream out of his reverie. "You okay?"

Scream nodded. The sound of gunfire still echoed loudly in his head. "Yes, Sir."

* * *

_Angel looked at Tariq. "Isn't there help on the way?"_

_Tariq shrugged. "Ask Scream."_

_Scream fired off his weapon. "They'll be here when they can. Should be in the next half hour."_

_Dim shook his head. "We'll all be dead in a half hour."_

_Scream quickly glared at Dim. "Thanks for your goddamned vote of confidence, Dim." The gunfire suddenly ceased. Scream knew that this was the calm before the storm. He'd been in that calm too many times before. He saw Dim start to stand. "Don't you fucking stand up, Dim. They're not done yet."_

_"INCOMING!" was the last thing Scream remembered hearing Tariq yell._

* * *

**I know! What a way to end it! You're all hating me wondering what's next right? LoL Hope to update soon!**


	2. Not On My Watch

_Scream looked up and saw nothing but smoke. He coughed as he carefully sat up, feeling a sharp pain in his right arm and his head. He groaned silently as he realised he had been hit. "Who's hit?" He calmly barked._

_Smoke groaned while holding his left arm. "I've got shrapnel, I think, Sarge."_

_"Angel?" Nothing. Scream panicked. He couldn't have lost his best sharp shooter. "ANGEL! GODDAMNIT!" He turned around and saw Angel looking lost, tears forming. "Answer me, Angel. You okay? Scream gently shook Angel's shoulders._

_Angel only blankly looked up at Scream.

* * *

_

Scream watched as the doctors stitched up Smoke's left arm. The shrapnel hadn't made its way in and it took a mere few moments to remove it.

"How you doin', Sarge?" The Captain smiled.

"I've been better, Sir." Scream's reply was distant and his eyes showed a lack of emotion.

"How's he doing?" Scream slowly lifted his eyes and saw Captain Baron standing there.

"Shell shocked, but after what they went through, I'm surprised any of them are showing some emotion, John." Captain Callahan pointed to Smoke who was cursing the Medic as he got stitches. He looked at Baron and at Scream. "I'll be right back, Staff Sergeant."

Scream never took his eyes off the wall. "Yes, Sir."

* * *

_Angel looked at Scream, holding Dim. "He's bad, Sarge. He's really bad."_

_"It's okay, Angel." Scream painfully moved to his side. "I'm calling for help. Rawhide One, this is Rawhide Six. We need immediate medical attention." He carefully spoke the coordinates. "Help's coming, Angel." He looked down at Dim, who was fighting to breathe. "Hold on, Dim. You hear me?" Scream uncharacteristically took the younger man's hand. "You have to hold on." _

_Dim tried to nod, but the pain was too much. Blood was flowing from nearly every crevice possible. Dim coughed, spraying blood everywhere. His glasses had been knocked cock-eyed and were dangling on his ears. Dim continued to struggle for breath and with every inhale, an exhale full of blood followed. Scream noticed that Dim's chest barely rose as he inhaled and he could hear the struggle within his young Soldier to breathe. Angel rocked back and forth. "Don't you leave me, man. Who'll have my back, Dim?"_

_Scream knew that, despite the explosion, the rebels and insurgents hadn't calmed down. He knew they would believe all of them were dead and would back off until they saw medical help coming. He radioed his concerns to Captain Baron. The Captain understood the situation, having been in similar situations with Scream, and he promised to tell his incoming medics to be careful.

* * *

_

"I'm a little worried about the Sergeant, John."

"Why, Kevin?" Captain Baron crossed his arms and looked at Scream. "He's been through this shit before and he'll be fine."

"That's the thing, John. He won't be. Something happened and he's lost all emotion. Temporary or not, he's not showing any. I've seen shell shocked Soldiers before, John, and this is one of the worst cases I've seen."

Baron nodded. Even he hadn't seen Scream this bad. Even during the midst of the gunfire in Mogadishu, Scream had kept his cool, even with dead and wounded surrounding him. "I'll see what I can get out of him, Kev."

Kevin shook Baron's hand. "Thanks."

Baron pulled up a stool and sat across from Scream. "Talk to me, buddy."

Scream just looked at Baron with an emptiness that even the war hardened Captain could see.

* * *

_Scream sat still for a moment before he realised he hadn't heard Tariq say anything. "Tariq!" There was a slight muffle from under a pile of debris and Smoke and Scream, ignoring any pain, worked to remove the rubble. Smoke sighed heavily as he looked at Tariq. Tariq's eyes, while open, seemed to stare at nothing. He, like Dim, had blood flowing from his nose, ears, and mouth. Scream saw more blood streaming from Tariq's neck and listened carefully as the young man struggled to breathe._

_Tariq looked up at Scream. His voice was barely audible as he spoke. "Don't let me die here, Smoke."_

_Scream only nodded, aware of Tariq's confusion and looked over at Smoke. Smoke saw the look in his Sergeant's eyes and replied. "I won't, man. I won't." He squeezed Tariq's hand. "I've got your back, Ahab." Smoke tried to lighten the mood._

"_My name's Tariq." Tariq painfully and slowly smiled back, aware of Smoke's joke._

_Scream knew that if Tariq survived this, he'd be one lucky son of a gun. Scream carefully pulled Tariq out of the rubble and held him close to his chest, fighting back tears, a trait none of his Soldiers saw in Scream. The eldest Soldier emulated Angel as he rocked back and forth, as though it were the only way to keep his Soldier alive. "You hold on, Tariq. Help's coming." He heard the sound of the MedEvacs overhead. "Hang in there."_

_The medics entered the tent and carefully attended to the injured Soldiers. Angel reluctantly let Dim go as the medics carefully moved him to the waiting helo. "Don't let him die, man. You have to save him!" Angel was helped to the waiting helo, refusing to leave Dim's side and refusing to let go of his hand._

_A medic approached Scream and pushed him to the side. "You have to let him go, Sarge!"_

_Scream knew the medic was right, but he was afraid of what would happen to Tariq if he let him go. Never before had he allowed himself to get close to and care about those he was in charge of. He had seen first hand what happens when Platoon Leaders care too much about the Platoon. He was in charge of this fire team and he couldn't allow himself to, yet here he was, refusing to let go of Tariq's hand._

_Tariq looked up at Scream, his eyes staring through the war hardened Staff Sergeant. "I don't want to die, Sage." Tariq's voice was barely above a whisper._

"_You're not going to die, Tariq. You hear me?" Scream yelled. "That's a goddamned order!" Scream fought back the tears. He looked over at Dim, who was still struggling to breathe. "That means you too, Dim. You're not dying, either. Don't either of you die on me! Not on my fucking watch!"

* * *

_

"Talk to me, buddy." Scream heard Baron's words echoing in his head. **How do I talk about this?** Scream fought in his head. He looked up at Captain Baron. "How are my men, Sir?"

Baron sighed. "One died. One is being moved to Landsthul at 2300 tonight and the rest of you will be out on the front lines in a week."

"Who died, Sir?"

Baron sighed. "You know."

Scream nodded. This was all too familiar. A young Soldier dead for doing nothing more than his job. "I'll break it to my men, if you don't mind, Sir."

Baron nodded. He heard and saw how tight of a group these men were and how the two women mechanics were as much of the group. This group had seen too much together, including the deaths of two Lieutenants, to rely on others. This small fire team was a family and Captain Baron knew that all too well. "Very well. But, think about how to do it without making it worse." He shook the Sergeant's hand. "I know you will. Take care, Sergeant."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir." Scream was still distant. Baron looked back at his old friend. He knew that the task before him wasn't easy and that Scream would rather be in a firefight than have to tell his close-knit fire team that one of them was dead.

* * *

**I know! Who do you think died? LoL I haven't decided yet…it's either Dim or GASPS! Tariq!**


	3. My Name's Tariq

Scream stood outside, with Smoke and Angel, looking at the smoke rising on the horizon. They said nothing, but nothing needed to be said. They all knew that he was dead. Mrs. B and DoubleWide stood with them, trying to keep from crying. Captain Callahan looked down at the small fire team. He heard from Captain Baron about how close they were and from his vantage point, he could see it.

Mrs. B sat on the deck. "I can't quite believe that we're not going to go out there again and he won't be there."

Scream sat next to her. "I know." He fought the tears. Angel, Smoke, and DoubleWide joined the circle. "The question is how to tell Dim."

Angel wiped a tear. "It'll kill him."

Smoke was through playing it tough. "I promised him I wouldn't let him die." The tears flowed down the former gang member's face, washing dirt and soot away.

* * *

_Smoke held Tariq's hand, quietly assuring the young Soldier that he was going to be okay. "When we're home, I'll take you out for a drink, Ahab."_

_Tariq got used to Smoke calling him 'Ahab'. It became their inside joke. Through the blood and the pain, Tariq smiled up at Smoke. "My name's Tariq." His eyes stared up at Smoke, but saw nothing. His labored breathing stopped and his hand suddenly laxed, falling out of Smoke's grip._

_Smoke lost it. He started pounding on his friend's chest. "Don't you die! I told you I wouldn't let you die!" _

_The medics carefully moved Smoke to the side and did what they could for Tariq. Scream watched as their efforts were in vain. As they landed in Baghdad at the hospital, he felt every emotion in his body leave as they covered Tariq.

* * *

_

Captain Callahan watched from the roof as the entire group surrounded Smoke. "Close group, aren't they?" Captain Callahan jumped at Captain Baron's voice.

"Yeah. The one that was DOA, was he a valuable member of the team?"

"Translator." Captain Baron wiped a tear as he looked down at the group. "He replaced one guy from the team who lost a limb to an IED. According to Staff Sergeant Silas, Tariq fit in almost immediately. He was their most valuable asset."

"He have a close friend in the group?"

Baron nodded. "The one going to Landsthul tonight. Frank Dumphy. Silas said those two bonded immediately." Baron sighed. "This will kill Dumphy."

* * *

**Dim's too still.** Angel thought as he looked at his friend. The explosive did its best to kill Dim. His face was black and blue from where he was hit. The monitor he was connected to showed a slow and unsteady heartbeat. Scream stood next to Angel and noticed Dim's continuing battle to breathe.

"How do we tell him, Sarge?" Smoke asked quietly.

Scream sighed. "Very carefully."

* * *

_"What's the first thing you're going to do when you get back?" Dim smiled as he put a pair of aces down._

_Tariq laughed and threw down his cards. "I don't know. Maybe sleep for a week straight and then eat some real food. You?"_

_"Take my step son to Disneyland. Work on my marriage." Dim gathered up the toothpicks they had been using as chips in this makeshift poker game. "What about you, Smoke?"_

_Smoke sighed as he shuffled the cards. "Go see my moms. Take care of her. Take her shopping and get her some nice shit, ya know? Angel?"_

_Angel sighed. "I don't know. There's so much to do and I'm not sure where to begin. Maybe start off with a visit to my great aunt's grave and tell her that, despite how she felt about war, I still loved her."_

_Tariq cut the deck and smiled. "You're an example to follow, Angel. I think that if the world tried to be more like you, we wouldn't have wars."

* * *

_

Scream took Dim's hand and looked up at Captain Callahan, who nodded. The decision was made to tell Dim that Tariq had died on the helo while he was still in the hospital because medical care was right there if there was an adverse reaction. Scream sighed and his voice quivered. "I hope you can hear me, Dim. You're a damn good Solider, even if you are a little idealistic. We could certainly use more like you in the Army. Maybe then we wouldn't have to fight wars and lose our closest friends." Scream paused a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

Angel put his hand over Scream's. "You have to come back to us, Dim. This fire team, Sarge, me, Smoke...we all need you. Eddie needs you. You're not just a friend, Dim. You're a brother."

Mrs. B and DoubleWide put their hands on top of Angel's. Smoke put his hand on top last. Captain Callahan fought tears as he watched this. Captain Baron stood behind Scream and put his hand over the groups. "They need you, Dumphy."

Scream looked up at Baron. "Thank you, Sir."

Baron wiped a tear. "He's my Soldier too, Sergeant."

* * *

_Baron sat in the sunshine, trying to figure out his next move. He knew that normal protocol called for an Officer to not mingle with Enlisted, but Private Frank Dumphy was really no ordinary Enlisted. He had the smarts to be an Officer and a degree from Cornell._

_"Your move, Sir." Dim smiled._

_Baron smiled back. "Private, I think you may have me beat on this." He tried to hold back his laughter, but the smug look on Dim's face defeated any resolve he had to maintain a straight face. "Chess was never my strong suit."_

_"No, Sir, but being a good Captain is." Dim laughed with the Captain. _

_"Why do you say that, Private?"_

_"Sir, there are times we forget you're a Captain. We can talk to you, Sir, about anything and even..." Dim moved his piece. "Beat you in chess and not feel bad."_

_"So, that why you all call me 'Duke'?"_

_"It's better than a Baron, Sir." Dim grinned his usual smug grin.

* * *

_

**I KILLED TARIQ! But, what of Dim? More later!**


	4. Band Of Brothers

Baron nodded at Scream, who gathered his thoughts. He felt the tears in his eyes as he spoke. "Dim, we were told to tell you here because there are doctors everywhere and they can take care of you instantly." Scream choked back more tears. "Tariq didn't make it. We were on the helo and he spoke his final words to Smoke and..." Scream stopped as the heart monitor beeped.

"Out of the way!" Captain Callahan pushed the small fire team aside. He grabbed the paddles. "Charge to 250. CLEAR!" The heart monitor never varied.

* * *

_"I swear that it gets hotter out here every day." Dim wiped some sweat off his brow. "When they told me I'd be going to Iraq, I didn't think they meant hell."_

_Tariq smiled. He put the letter down he was writing and took a sip of water. "We've only got a couple more months, Dim. Then it's back to the United States and hopefully some cooler weather. If not, at least a hotel with a swimming pool."_

_Scream poked his head in. "We've got a shit mission again, boys. Let's go."_

_Tariq and Dim grabbed their gear and headed out.

* * *

_

Scream stood still, praying even though he didn't believe in prayer. Angel was biting his thumbnail. Smoke and Captain Baron were pacing and pleading while Mrs. B and DoubleWide held hands, choking back tears.

The heart monitor continued to flat line and the paddles were charged higher. This time, the heart monitor showed a beat. A slow beat, but a steady beat nonetheless. The group sighed a short breath of relief and gathered once more around Dim's bed.

Mrs B. sat on the edge of Dim's bed. Her soft Southern accent soothed the rest of them. "You have to stay, Dim. We can't bear to lose both you and Tariq in the same day. Not today or any other day." She softly kissed his forehead. "We need you. Angel needs you. You're his rock, he told me one time."

* * *

_Mrs B. and Angel watched the stars. They sat in silence until Dim sat next to Angel. "It's hard to believe that the stars can be so beautiful and so full of gas."_

_Angel grinned. "Then there's you. So full of shit."_

_Dim laughed. "That's me. Didn't you know that's why my eyes are brown?"_

_"Your eyes aren't brown." Mrs. B softly spoke. "They're green."_

_Dim smiled and Angel threw a small rock at him. "Told you."_

_Dim laughed. "Well, I love you too, Angel." Dim adjusted his Kevlar and walked off, exchanging taunts with Angel._

_"He's something else, Angel." Mrs. B's voice was still soft._

_"Yeah. Surprisingly, with as much as a shit as he can be, he's my rock. When we had to kill that guy so the toilets could get here...well, when I had to kill that guy...Dim was right there, a part of it. Kind of like a guardian kill angel." Angel smiled.

* * *

_

Dim's heart monitor seemed to respond to Mrs B's voice and touch. Mrs. B softly stroked his forehead. "We'll all miss Tariq. He was valuable to us and you're just as valuable. You need to come back to us, Dim." She felt the tears form.

She had been so used to being used by men that Dim's soft nature towards her always made her feel like she was worth more. He made her want to change. She remembered the night they night they had stayed at the rich man's house, so full of money. When she told him she went AWOL, she was expecting him to lecture her. Instead he smiled at her and said "But you came back." It was as though her mistake didn't matter to him.

Scream leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. It was no secret that he and Dim were often at odds, but Dim was smart and knew how to push the elder Soldier's buttons.

* * *

_Scream looked at the cigar box. "Dare I open a cigar box in some bizarre party house in Iraq?" Tariq shrugged. _

_Without heistation, Dim opened the box, causing Scream and Tariq to jump back. Scream ran into Dim, causing the younger man to stop acting and start thinking.

* * *

_

Captain Callahan kept an eye on Dim's vitals. Baron knew that the best thing was to get the team back out on the line, but he didn't have the heart to send them. Not with one of their men here.

He stood up and grabbed Captain Callahan. "Kevin, these men and women need to stay here until Dumphy's transported to Germany."

"I was thinking the same thing, John." Callahan looked back at the group. "I've seen the injured and their friends, but I've never really seen a bedside vigil like this. How close is this group?"

"A band of brothers." Baron lowered his head and rejoined the group.

* * *

_"Come on, Smoke. It won't hurt you." Tariq laughed._

_"I ain't going near that thing, Ahab." Smoke backed away._

_"You mean to tell me you're this tough guy from Compton and yet you won't go anywhere near a camel spider." Dim laughed. "It won't hurt you."_

_"It'll eat you alive, Dimwit." Smoke snorted._

_"Myth." Tariq looked back at Smoke. He started laughing and threw the spider at Smoke, who jumped. "Some tough guy!"_

_"That ain't funny, Ahab. Now he's pissed off and going to eat our skin." Smoke looked frantically around for the spider._

_Tariq and Dim laughed. Angel, having walked in as Tariq threw the spider, smiled. The camel spider made its way to the shade under Smoke's cot. "Looks like he'll be waiting for some dark meat tonight." Angel laughed._

_"I ain't sleeping there tonight. You threw it, Ahab, you sleep in my cot, man."_

_Tariq continued laughing at Smoke's fear and crawled under the cot. He retrieved the spider and placed it outside. "There. The big bad flesh eating spider's gone, Smokey-wokey." He teased._

_"Haha. Very funny." Smoke snorted, even though he found humor in the situation.

* * *

_

**Any ideas of what happens to Dim? Is the story going to claim him too or will it let him live? I await the story's answer...like you all!**


	5. Just Wake Up

_The mission had been simple enough. A goodwill mission, Lieutenant Coolson said. "A shit mission, but a goodwill mission, nonetheless." The young Lt. smiled. Lieutenant Coolson had just graduated from West Point a few months earlier. Scream had his hesitations about the young Lt., but at least this was one Lieutenant who was willing to listen to the veteran Soldier._

_Tariq sat next to Dim as they headed out to their mission. They had often teased that one day one of these missions would be their last. As they joked about it, Scream barked at them to knock it off. Scream was a superstitious character when it came to war and talking about death before a mission, even in jest, was, as he saw it, a precursor to it.

* * *

_

There was no change in Dim's breathing or heart beat. The group stayed by his bedside and a Chaplain leaned in to talk to Dim. Scream shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the Major spoke to Dim. "Your friends are here. They want you to pull through, Private. It's apparent you're loved deeply by all these people here. You have to make it for them."

Angel watched as Dim moved his right hand slightly. He looked at Captain Callahan. "Does that mean anything?"

Captain Callahan checked Dim's vitals again. "Everything seems to be okay."

"Do you think that the words of Tariq's death have affected him?" Smoke asked. "Did he hear us?"

Captain Callahan nodded. "He heard you. While everything is normal and he should make it, he's still fragile. He has a 50/50 shot right now."

Smoke looked down at Dim. They could never be classified as best friends, or friends for that matter, but when Smoke needed Dim, he was there.

* * *

_Smoke just wanted to sleep. Yet, Dim was talking to him about what happened. He got information about what the stroke Smoke's mom had and was passing information down. Tariq and Angel stood at the foot of his bed, also offering up help. _

_Smoke was so struck by the fact that they were willing to come to his aid, despite his apathetic attitude to them that he started to let his guard down around them. Their actions and willingness to help Smoke only served to strengthen the bond between the men.

* * *

_

Smoke took Dim's hand. "You was there when I needed you and now, I'm here for you, Dimwit." Smoke wiped a tear. "You gotta pull through pal. Who else am I going to beat at chess?"

* * *

_"I beat you! America, I beat you!" the little boy held a box above his head._

_Unsure of what the box contained, Scream yelled for him to put it down, which Tariq translated. They hid behind the safety of the Humvee, while the lady yelled at them. Dim aimed, fired, and watched as he blew a chess set to shit. He hung his head as the little boy walked rejectedly away, sorrowfully saying "I beat you."_

_A couple days later, they found themselves back at the orphanage to once again serve papers and help the orphans prepare for a move. To make up for the lost chess set, Scream gave the young man his travel chess set. _

_Dim received permission to play the young boy a quick game of chess. Smoke was giving Dim a hard time about being a geek in college and Dim smiled about it, as though he were proud of it._

_Tariq kept an eye out, noticing a Volvo driving past a couple times. Suspicion aroused, Tariq and Dim checked it out. An explosion tore through the alley._

_Dim and Tariq ran back to the orphanage, hearing Scream yell, to see the young boy badly burned. Despite efforts, the young boy died, leaving the game unfinished. Dim memorized the board as it was left and carefully packed it away._

_Upon returning to base, Dim set it out and stared at it. Smoke sat across from him. "He was going to beat you, wasn't he?"_

_Dim nodded. "Yeah. I was going to let him." Something glimmered in Smoke's eyes and Dim leaned forward. "But I won't let you win."_

_An hour into the game, Tariq and Angel came out to tell Dim and Smoke they needed to pick up Scream. Comments were made and Smoke made his move, leaving Dim shocked as Smoke laughed and said, in a high pitched voice "I beat you, America!" Tariq and Angel laughed. Dim only shook his head, trying to figure out how Smoke beat him.

* * *

_

Smoke smiled at the memory and noticed Dim's eyes fluttering. "Sarge!" He tried to contain his excitement. "He's waking up!"

Scream and Baron looked. Baron ran out. "Kevin! We think he's waking up."

Callahan followed Baron in. He coaxed Dim. "Come on. Open your eyes." Dim's eyes merely fluttered. Callahan continued coaxing. "You're doing well. Come on. Open your eyes."

Slowly, Dim's eyes opened. Mrs. B and DoubleWide fell to the floor, crying. Dim's hand slowly reached over and touched Mrs. B's shoulder. She stood up and looked at him. "Welcome back, Dim." She smiled.

Dim's eyes showed no emotion. He looked around at the group and his heart monitor showed a quickened beat as he looked. He looked at Angel and Angel knew what Dim's question was. "Tariq died on the helo, Dim."

Tears filled Dim's eyes and his vitals spiked. Scream held the young man's hand. "We miss him too, Dim. We can only imagine how this affects you."

Dim closed his eyes, a flow of tears falling from behind his closed lids.

* * *

_"So you have a nickname?" Dim sat behind the wheel of the Humvee as he stood roadblock duty._

_"Nah. No one ever gave me one." Tariq smiled._

_"The guy you're replacing always asked about nicknames." Dim and Tariq got out of the Humvee as a truck approached. "So, why'd you join?"_

_"9/11." Tariq replied._

_"Yeah, me too." Dim smiled back. Dim knew that this new member of the fire squad could prove to be valuable. He had always been good at that. He also knew that he had found someone, other than Angel, to talk to. He had found his best friend.

* * *

_

Baron put his hand on Dim's shoulder. "Don't close your eyes, Dumphy. We just got you back and we don't want to lose you."

Callahan stood back and watched the small fire team talk to Dim. Lieutenant Coolson entered. "Sir, how's he doing?"

"He opened his eyes, but I'm afraid with the death of his best friend, well, LT, the will to live is in his hands and his hands alone. No matter what we do, if that Soldier doesn't want to live, he won't."

* * *

**GASPS! What is the story doing with Dim? I know we ALL want to know! It's funny how I can be the writer of it and not know shit about it, right? This story has already killed off Tariq (stupid story!) but will it also claim Dim? Now, I'm worried!**


	6. Memories

_The mission, all in all, had been a success. They helped to move an old abandoned car out of a schoolyard, allowing the children to go to school without fear. The kids had attached themselves to Tariq because they could talk to him. Scream smiled and laughed as the kids jumped up for candy. Tariq and Dim looked at Scream, who hadn't really smiled since they got there. "Who knew Scream had personality?" Dim joked._

_Scream shot him a look. "I'm loaded with personality, Dim." He smiled an uncharacteristic smile. He looked around. "Let's load up!" He barked. The men jumped on the back of the Humvee. Lieutenant Coolson was in the lead Humvee and gave the signal to move out. Angel pulled in behind the Humvee carrying Coolson._

_He watched as Coolson's Humvee took off. "Sarge, Coolson's taking off as fast as he can."_

_"Step on it, Angel." Scream said as he proceeded to talk to Lt. Coolson about having his driver slow down. "Yes, Sir. We're...SHIT!" Scream yelled as an IED hit their Humvee.

* * *

_

Lieutenant Coolson knelt by Scream. "We should have been there faster. We were only..."

"Sir, then they'd have killed more men." Scream didn't look at Coolson. His attention was on Dim and hoping that Dim would live to fight another day. "I know you guys got ambushed too and all they accomplished with your group is holding you back, separating us, which is what they really wanted, Sir. No hard feelings. You did what you could, Sir."

* * *

_Dim couldn't believe how cold 80 degrees could be, but he shivered in the morning hours. "How is it possible, Tariq, for 80 degrees to be cold?" He watched as Tariq made coffee carefully._

_Tariq smiled. "When you're used to 120 degree weather, 80 can be freezing." _

_Dim laughed. "I'll never complain about how hot it is again when it's 80 plus humidity!"_

_"I second that." Tariq poured a cup and handed the coffee to Dim._

_"Thanks." Dim held the cup close, trying to warm his hands._

_"No problem. You ever think you could make coffee this way?" Tariq laughed. He and Dim were usually the first ones up and spent the first hour making coffee and talking about nothing to everything._

_Dim sipped his coffee and smugly grinned. "Never. Coffee's supposed to come from a store, like a 7-11 or something."_

_Tariq poured himself a cup and sat next to Dim. "My mom makes the best coffee. I don't know how she does it, but man! It's a real wake you up."_

_"Unlike this shit you make?" Dim elbowed Tariq._

_"Yeah. I don't claim to be a coffee connoisseur." Tariq elbowed Dim back. "Think we should get Scream up? He makes coffee that rivals my mother's."_

_Dim laughed. "Yeah. Let's wake him up and see how loud he can really scream."_

_Tariq smiled back and the two sat in silence, sipping their coffee, watching the sun rise.

* * *

_

"Why's Dim crying, man?" Smoke stepped back.

"He lost his best friend." Mrs. B's voice was still soft and barely audible. "How'd you feel if you lost your best friend?"

"He got Angel, don't he?"

Angel looked at Smoke. "Dim and I are friends, but Tariq...that was his best friend, Smoke. They had a lot of inside jokes that none of us understood."

Scream smiled. "I wanted to be so mad when they joked about being gay. But, right now, I'd give anything for them to joke about it again." Scream wiped some stray tears. He'd only shown his men emotion once, when they lost that young orphan, and in the past 4 hours, showed them more. They didn't know how to respond.

Baron laughed. "They certainly knew how to push the line without crossing over."

* * *

_Tariq laughed as he opened the package from home. "Holy shit. The fun that's to be had."_

_Captain Baron came in the tent. "How's the leg, Soldier?"_

_"Still there, Sir." Tariq smiled._

_"What's that?" Baron pointed to the box._

_"A practical joke." Tariq looked back at the contents of the box. "I know, Sir, that this bends the rules, but Dim needs to be taught a lesson that you don't mess with a practical joker supreme." Tariq's brown eyes danced and Baron tilted his head and looked at the young man._

_"What is it?" Baron laughed loudly as Tariq pulled out a blow up doll. "Soldier, that is bending the rules, but I didn't see anything." Baron pulled a chair up and sat next to the cot Tariq was lying on. "What do you intend to do with these?"_

_"You have any helium, Sir?"_

_Baron cocked an eyebrow. "I know where to get some."

* * *

_

Smoke laughed loudly. "I can't forget Dim's face. He looked like he'd seen a ghost or somthin'."

Scream laughed softly. "That was a good one. Still, Sir, the rules were broken."

"I didn't know anything of it." Baron's blue eyes danced with laughter, revealing his lie.

Scream's eyes followed the lead of his Captain's. "Yes, Sir. Never said you did."

DoubleWide wiped a tear. "I'll never forget how protective Dim was. Not just of Mrs. B, but of all of us. He was idealistic, but he...he...he wanted nothing more than to help and pro...te...protect us." Her voice quivered. "I don't know how we'd ever...I don't want to..." Her voice trailed off.

* * *

_The insurgents came out of nowhere. Dim looked as he fired. "MRS B?" He yelled. "DOUBLEWIDE?"_

_The young ladies were behind a wheel, firing off rounds as fast as they could. "Over here, Dim!" DoubleWide yelled._

_Dim found the ladies. "You alright?"_

_"Yeah, just peachy." Mrs. B snorted back._

_Dim smiled. He may have been married, but he was attracted to the young West Virginia girl. **Full of sass and vinegar.** he thought. He didn't have much time to think as a couple rebels came from behind the Humvee. One pointed his gun right at Mrs. B and Dim reacted quickly, firing before the rebel did, felling him to the ground. The other fell and Angel looked around the corner, asking if they were okay. "Yeah, Angel. We're just peachy." Dim's green eyes danced as he looked at Mrs. B."_

_"Thanks, Dim." She smiled back._

_"It's what I'm here for." He helped DoubleWide up. "Let's go."

* * *

_

"He had balls of steel for being such an idealist." DoubleWide wiped another tear.

"I remember when he got pissed and shot dude with multiple rounds when Tariq got shot in Underpants' convoy of money." Angel smiled, pain present. "Dim's a good guy."

Callahan had been keeping a close watch on Dim's monitors. He was concerned that there wasn't much change in them. He pulled Baron outside. "John, I don't know if he's going to make it."

"What do you mean, Kevin? You said he was doing well and that..."

"The will to live is in his hands. He lost his best friend. What's that going to do to a Soldier?"

Baron rubbed his hands over his face. "So, he's going to forget about the others in that room, surrounding his bed, that love him just as much?" Baron became angry.

"Look, John, I'm not..."

"He can't do that to us!" Baron's voice resounded loudly, causing the small fire team to look at him. "He can't." He made his way back in the room and put his hand on Dim's shoulder. "You can't do this to us, Dumphy. You have to live. You have to fight." For the first time, the team saw Captain Baron's eyes fill with tears. "We need you to stick around for us. We need you to fight with us, to stand beside us, Dumphy, and have our backs. You're a top notch Soldier and we can't lose you. We're going to be selfish here, Dumphy, and hold on to you for as long as we can."

* * *

_Captain Baron looked at Dim, who had his usual 'I-know-something-you-don't' grin on his face. "What is it, Dumphy?"_

_"We're actually needing another body for volleyball, Sir, and Sergeant Scream sent me in here to see if you'd like to play, Sir."_

_"You do know that Officers don't mingle with Enlisted, right, Private?" Baron knew he'd play, but wanted to give Dim a hard time._

_"Yes, Sir, but Officers also don't generally challenge a Private to a game of chess, Sir, when it's not his strong suit." Dim's smug grin never left his face._

_Baron laughed. "How right you are. Lucky for you guys, I was Enlisted first." He looked at Dim, who now had the 'I-told-you-you'd-play' grin on his face. "whose team am I on, Private?"_

_"Mine, Sir."_

_"God help me." Baron laughed as he patted Dim's shoulders and made their way to the makeshift volleyball game.

* * *

_

"Captain Baron?" A deep voice echoed from behind him.

Baron turned around. "Sir?"

"Captain Samuels told me that your team got hit pretty bad." Smoke stared intently at the man as he approached Dim. "This kid has a lot of potential if he makes it." He looked at Baron. "You know that he had the balls enough to stand up to me and ask questions about how I was handling a prisoner?" The man smiled. "Should have taken him from you right then, Sergeant."

"Yes, Sir." Scream was uncharacteristically quiet.

"We got the information we needed, Sergeant."

"Yes, Sir."

"Still unsure of me, are you, Sergeant?"

"Yes, Sir."

Colonel Ryan looked at Baron. "If he wakes up, let me know. I want this kid." He turned to go.

"You can't have him, Sir."

Colonel Ryan looked back at Smoke. "What did you say, Private?"

Smoke swallowed hard. "I said you can't have him, Sir. He's our brother and he ain't goin' nowheres unless we all go."

Baron smiled. "I'm afraid it's a package deal, Sir."

Colonel Ryan laughed. "You all have balls, I give you that much. Just inform me when he wakes up, Captain."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

_Tariq and Smoke sat in the cool night air, listening to music. The previous days had been unusual to say the least. Despite the apparent apprehension to each other, nothing was said. _

_"Been crazy, ain't it?" Smoke broke the silence._

_"Yeah, man. It has." Tariq kept his voice soft._

_"Ya ever think that you'd be doin' what you're doin' now when you signed up?"_

_"Not so much, no." Tariq sighed. "I mean, I knew I'd have to eventually be in a war, but I never expected to be held in a ghost town with a sadistic Colonel."_

_Smoke grinned. He had been so skeptical of the new comer. When Tariq stepped out of the Humvee, Smoke was surprised to see him. His first words were "You an Arab?" He leaned back on his elbows. "That was somethin' though, wasn't it?"_

_"How'd you like to be serving under him?" Tariq grinned._

_"You mean we ain't?" Smoke sarcastically replied as Scream passed by._

_Tariq laughed. If he had been told when he first arrived to the unit that he and Smoke would be outside talking to each other, he'd have laughed. He was used to discrimination, but often Smoke took it too far to the extreme. But, here the two of them were, talking, laughing and seemingly forgetting that Smoke had been less than enthusiastic when Tariq first arrived._


	7. It's Nothing

Smoke walked outside, unable to deal with all he was feeling at this point. He felt that it should have been someone else. Who that other person was, Smoke wasn't sure. He sat hard on the deck, recalling the first time Private First Class Tariq Nassiri joined the team.

* * *

_Smoke had been watching the road and heard the Humvee pull up. Angel and Dim stood with Scream and no one said anything. Mad Cow informed them Bo's replacement was here. The back passenger door opened and Smoke gawked at what he saw._

_"Private First Class Tariq Nassiri reporting for duty, Sergeant."_

_Smoke was incredulous. "You an Arab?"_

_"American." The new PFC responded._

_"You know what I mean. Where your people from?"_

_"Detroit."_

_Before Smoke could reply, Scream yelled at him to get inside and get some shut eye. "NOW!" He barked. Smoke only rolled his eyes and headed into the make shift quarters._

_"Where do you want me, Sarge?" Tariq asked._

_"Where you're at's fine." Scream spoke sharply. He wasn't sure of the new kid himself._

_Dim smiled. It was as though the war gods had smiled on him and brought someone to bring Smoke to his knees. "Great way to handle Smoke."_

_"Pardon?" Tariq sat on the sand bags._

_Dim sat opposite of him. "Smoke. He's got something against everyone. If you ain't black, you ain't nothin', is how he thinks."_

_Tariq shrugged. "It's cool. I mean, I'm used to it."_

_"You shouldn't be, though." Dim squinted in the sun._

_"Why not? You can't change everyone."_

_"Well, I mean, to be judged because you're..."_

_"It's cool. My whole life I've been judged. Since the attacks, I've been judged more harshly. But, I have the ability to decide how I'm going to respond. I can either become bitter and hate everyone because they judge me based on my heritage, or I can decide that I'm not going to let it bother me and move on. Life's too short to hate because of differences."_

_"Tell that to the people here." Dim looked down the road._

_"Yeah, they're also backwards here."_

_"Well, I'm sorry for Smoke." _

_Tariq looked over at Dim. "Why?"_

_"Calling you an Arab."_

_Tariq softly laughed. "It's my heritage. I don't think it's offensive."_

_"What part?"_

_"What do you mean what part?" _

_Dim sighed. "Of Arabia. Are you Saudi?"_

_Tariq laughed. "Nah man. I'm American."_

_Smoke lay still, listening to Dim and the new guy talk. He still didn't trust the new guy, being of Arabic descent. He was going to make it clear to him that no matter what, he wasn't a part of the team.

* * *

_

Smoke let the tears unapologetically fall. He had not been the nicest to either Tariq or Dim and now he could never apologize to Tariq. "Death changes things, don't they?" Angel's soft voice made Smoke look up.

"Yeah. Ahab will never know, ya know, that I...I'm..."

Angel patted Smoke's shoulder. "He knows, man. Tariq was never one to hold a grudge man. In fact, it was his idea when your mom had a stroke that Dim and I help him help you."

Smoke looked up at Angel. "Wait. That was all _his_ idea?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah. Deep down he saw the person you were despite the person you've tried to be. That was what made him him."

Smoke smiled. "Thanks, man."

Angel patted his shoulders again. "You bet."

Mrs. B ran out. "Guys...it's Dim."

The two shot up and ran in after her.

* * *

_"Jesus, Smoke. Don't you ever do anything normally?" Dim laughed._

_"Nope. I have to do it all gangsta style." Smoke laughed back._

_Scream only sat back and shook his head. The group had managed to get camping chairs and beer. The day had been a rough one. Scream looked at Tariq, knowing all too well he was the one of the group that had been closest to dying and yet, here he was, laughing and trying to help Dim and Smoke light the fire._

_Mrs. B, who was barely out of high school, sipped her beer. Scream ignored the fact that she was 18. **After all, you need to get drunk out here with this shit.** he thought. She laughed at the sight of the men. "Hey, DoubleWide."_

_"Yes, Mrs. B?" DoubleWide answered lightly._

_"How many men does it take to start a fire?"_

_Smoke glared at Mrs. B as DoubleWide answered. "I don't know, Mrs. B. How many men does it take to start a fire?"_

_"I'll let you know as soon as they get this one started." Mrs. B giggled._

_Scream snickered at the comment. "She's right, guys. How many of you does it take?"_

_Tariq held his hands up as sparks flew. "Just me." He grabbed his beer and sat next to Angel._

_Smoke huffed. "Yeah it's the fact that you a third world person that has to rely on fire."_

_Only Tariq heard the joke in Smoke's comment. "Yeah, but it goes well with weed, now don't it?" _

_Scream wanted to say something, but he saw the sarcasm in Tariq's eyes. Somehow, this small fire team could joke about things that shouldn't be joked about and no one said anything. They were an odd fire team to start with. Mrs. B and DoubleWide really shouldn't have been connected with them, but they were. Mrs. B was their designated driver and DoubleWide their designated mechanic._

_Somehow, it worked. Scream wasn't sure how, but it did.

* * *

_

Smoke and Angel couldn't see Dim because of the crowd around him. DoubleWide was crying into Captain Baron's arms and Scream stood emotionless.

Smoke looked over at the doctors working on Dim. "Sergeant?" He looked over at Scream, tears starting again.

Scream looked over at Smoke and said nothing.

* * *

_Dim looked over Tariq's shoulder. "She's beautiful."_

_Tariq smiled. "Her name's Jessie."_

_"Girlfriend?"_

_Tariq laughed. "No. Best friend."_

_Smoke scoffed. "Men and women can't be best friends. There's always something sexual between them."_

_Tariq laughed harder. "True, but seeing how Jessie and I both dig women, it ain't no big deal." He laughed at Dim's look. "What is it, Dim?"_

_"Why is it that the most beautiful women are gay?"_

_Tariq blew a kiss up a Dim. "For the same reason all the hot guys are gay, Dim."_

_Angel looked up from the letter he was writing. "Why don't you two just go for it and save us the pain of watching you two flirt?" _

_Tariq feigned offense. "Are you suggesting that..."_

_Angel's laugh filled the tent. "All I know is that you two can pull of being gay and yet no one thinks you otherwise."_

_Smoke scoffed. "I know Ahab ain't, but shit! I've had my questions about Dim."_

_Dim was laughing too hard to take offense to Smoke's comment. "Just be careful where you sleep, Smoke."

* * *

_

Mrs. B held Scream's hand as they stood and watched the doctors work on Dim. Suddenly they heard coughing and Captain Callahan turned around. "Who prayed?"

"I did, Sir." Angel softly replied.

"Someone upstairs must love you because they worked. I have never seen anyone come in with the injuries this young man had and within a matter of hours wake up."

Captain Baron and Scream helped steady Mrs. B and DoubleWide as their knees gave way. Baron looked at Callahan. "Don't shit us, Kevin."

"Dukes don't say shit." a raspy voice softly spoke.

Scream nearly dropped Mrs. B. "Jesus, Dim. You gave us all quite a scare." He helped Mrs. B to the side of Dim's bed.

"That's what I do, Sarge." Dim's smug smile, though present, was hard to see under the swelling. "How are you all doing?"

"It's not about us, Dim." Angel took his hand. "It's about you."

"What were his last words, Smoke?" Dim looked at Smoke.

Smoke choked. "His last words were 'My name's Tariq.' and then he was gone." Tears unapologetically fell. "I'm sorry for all the shit I've done to you, Dim. I..."

Dim patted Smoke's hand. "It's nothing."

DoubleWide resisted the urge to scoop Dim up in her arms and hug him. "Welcome back, Dim."

Dim looked around. Not seeing Tariq there was an odd sight to him. He closed his eyes and heard them all yelling at him to keep them open, but somehow he only wanted them closed. He couldn't stand not seeing Tariq.

* * *

_Dim opened the flap to the tent and saw all these blow up dolls. He didn't know whether to laugh or scream. He looked over at the cot Tariq was supposed to be in, but the young Soldier wasn't there. **Good thing he ain't.** Dim thought. He knew only Tariq would get away with this._

_Scream walked in the tent and a few escaped. "This is great." He scoffed. "How did they get past..."_

_"Jesus!" Dim yelled. "He's going to pay for this." _

_Scream looked over at Dim, holding a blow up doll with a sign on her neck that read DIM'S TENSION RELIEVER. He couldn't help but laugh out loud. "I know Tariq said he'd get you back, but shit, Dim. Even you have to admit this is genius."_

_"The war's on, Sarge." Dim popped the doll.

* * *

_

Scream made his way outside. Somehow, Dim closing his eyes again didn't sit well with him. He couldn't explain why, but it bothered him that Dim wanted his eyes shut. He saw Captain Baron sit next to him. "Think he's just tired?"

Baron shrugged. "I certainly hope so." He sighed. "Jesus, Silas. You wouldn't ever see this shit on the news at home. They think that we just fight and leave. I mean, seriously, how many people would be shocked at the news there's a bedside vigil for a Soldier?"

"Don't know, Sir." Scream looked at the gauze on his arm. He wanted to cry from the pain, but he had suffered worse injuries.

* * *

_Scream didn't realise the his arm could bleed that much. He couldn't sit still long enough for the medic to work on it, pissing the medic off. Scream just had to keep checking on Tariq to make sure he was doing fine. "How you doing, Kiddo?" He patted Smoke's shoulder._

_Smoke looked up at Scream. He had never shown his young troops any sort of compassion or any concern. Smoke kept a tight grip on Tariq's hand. "As well as I can, Sarge." The shrapnel in Smoke's arm went unnoticed to him. All he focused on was Tariq. Smoke looked back down at Tariq. "You have to hold on, man."_

_Tariq smiled and said something in Arabic. Seeing the puzzled look on Smoke's face, he explained. "Roughly translated, Smoke, I said I welcome death at this point." Tariq tried to joke, but Smoke didn't see the joke. "Relax, Smoke. It's all good." Tariq coughed and tried to turn his head. "Where's Dim?"_

_Scream patted Tariq's shoulder. "Dim's on the other side of you. He's not awake, but he's hanging in there, like you should." Scream refused to let anyone see the fear in his eyes as Tariq's eyes searched the helo. Scream had seen a man's eyes before he died and he saw that look in Tariq's eyes. "You hang on, Tariq. We're almost to Baghdad." He squeezed Tariq's hand._

_"It's nothing, Sarge." Tariq grinned.

* * *

_

"Both Dim and Tariq said that, Sir, and none of us knows really what it means." Scream sighed.

Baron shrugged. "We'll ask Dim when he's fully awake and ready to get back to the lines."


	8. It's Okay To Care, Staff

_"You have to let me look at your arm, Staff." The medic yelled over the noise of the Black Hawk._

_Scream didn't listen. He looked over at Dim, who was still unconscious. He heard Tariq wheezing as he inhaled and faced the young Soldier. "Hang in there, pal."_

_"Sergeant!" The medic yelled. "I need to look at your arm!"_

_Scream glared at the medic. "Pay more attention to my Soldier and less attention on me. I'll be fine."_

_"You could lose your arm."_

_"Better than my life! NOW PAY ATTENTION TO MY SOLDIER!" Scream lived up to his nickname._

_"Sarge?" Tariq's voice was raspy and barely audible._

_"What is it, Tariq?" Scream leaned down to hear Tariq's words._

_"When Dim wakes up, tell him it's nothing." Tariq smiled._

_"You ain't dying, Ahab." Smoke held his hand tightly._

_"It's nothing, Smoke." Tariq squeezed Smoke's hand._

_"What you mean it's nothing? I can't lose you, man. I promised you I wouldn't let you die." Smoke's eyes filled with tears._

_"It's okay. It's nothing." Tariq's eyes looked around the helo._

_"When we're home, I'll take you out for a drink, Ahab." Smoke ignored Tariq's words._

_"My name's Tariq." His eyes stared up at Smoke, but saw nothing. His labored breathing stopped and his hand suddenly laxed, falling out of Smoke's grip.

* * *

_

Smoke tried to drink the coffee given to him, but found it undrinkable. He sighed, wishing Dim made the coffee. "Boy could make a mean cup of coffee, I'll tell you, Mamasia." He looked at DoubleWide.

She smiled. "He could do a lot of things well."

"Except hide his feelings." Mrs. B traced the top of the styrofoam cup her coffee was in. "It was like he wanted everyone to know to not ask him how he was doing, you know?"

Angel laughed. "Yeah. But, somehow, no matter how pissed off he was, Tariq was always the one he talked to."

"Tariq was just that way." DoubleWide nodded and sipped her coffee. "He and Mrs. B and I would just talk."

* * *

_"So why do they call you 'Mrs. B'?" Tariq sat on the sand next to DoubleWide._

_DoubleWide smiled. "She's a bitch."_

_Mrs. B glared at DoubleWide. "It's cos someone told me one time I had balls of steel."_

_Tariq smiled. "That you do. I'd say you have more balls than some of us." He looked down at his crotch. "Including present company."_

_Mrs. B laughed. "I'm not so sure about that. You've got balls to stand up to Smoke."_

_"Smoke's a puppy, really." Tariq grinned. "He just puts an act on that he's tough. He's soft."

* * *

_

Smoke smiled. "Really?"

DoubleWide patted his knee. "Yeah. He always thought that you were really a nice guy who grew up thinking that you had to show you were tough because nice guys didn't live long."

Smoke wiped a tear. "And how harshly I judged him."

Angel smiled. "Yeah, but I think other than Dim, we all judged him a little harshly. Think about it. He replaced one of us. Dim was the only one that reached out to him first off." His smile faded as the realization that he judged Tariq hit him. "He really taught us a lot."

Scream nodded. "Well, I'd love to just sit here and bullshit, but that would make you all think I care."

"If you didn't care, Sarge, you wouldn't be here." Mrs. B quietly pointed out.

Scream stopped and faced her. "You're my team. I'm your goddamned Platoon Sergeant. I have seen first hand what happens when Platoon Sergeants care too much about the team they're leading and..."

"It's okay, Sergeant." Captain Baron put his hand on Scream's shoulder. "This isn't Storm. These young Soldiers obviously care a great deal about you, so why not care a greater deal about them?"

* * *

_**I'm going to fucking die!** Scream thought to himself. The ambush left him buried under some rubble. He couldn't breathe very well and he couldn't see much._

_"SARGE!" Scream barely recognized Tariq's voice. He made a slight movement and saw light as Tariq lifted a few bricks. "You okay, Sarge?"_

_Scream took a deep breath, feeling the pain in his ribs. "I'm fine, Tariq." He looked up at Tariq, who was throwing rocks and bricks off of Scream. "I can't really breathe." Scream laid his head back down and tried to inhale._

_"Medics are on their way." Angel joined Tariq in moving bricks. "Just stay as still as you can, Sarge." Scream just glared at Angel and Angel smiled. "At least he can't scream at us if he can't breathe." He winked at Scream._

_Scream painfully laughed. "Don't make me laugh, Angel. One, I DON'T laugh and two, it hurts too goddamned much to."_

_Tariq grinned as he helped to gently pull Scream from the rubble. "I do believe, Sarge, that you'll be back screaming your lungs out shortly."_

_Scream inhaled deeply, despite the pain. He hadn't died and the two young Soldiers smiling at him made sure of it._


	9. Forgotten Memories

"Ribs still bruised, ain't they, Sarge?" Smoke laughed.

Scream reached down and put his arm on his ribs. "Yeah, but at least they don't hurt as much."

Captain Callahan looked at Scream. "Let me take a look at them, Staff."

"They're fine, Sir."

"Now, Staff."

"Yes, Sir." Scream lifted up his shirt, now acutely aware his chest hurt and it hurt to breathe.

Captain Callahan listened carefully. "You're not breathing well, Staff."

Scream looked around to his men. "Just a little winded from the explosion, I'm sure."

Callahan shook his head. "No, Staff. We need to give you a better examination."

"No disrespect, Sir, but why wouldn't you have done that in the first place?" Angel looked at Captain Callahan.

Callahan smiled. "A little distracted, I'd say, Soldier."

* * *

_Dim and Tariq sat on their cots, waiting for Scream. Angel and Smoke popped in and took their seats as well. "Think he's going to be okay?" Dim sighed._

_"He's too much of a bastard to die, Dim." Smoke snorted._

_"What would we do without him, though?" Tariq asked. "Remember how we felt when we thought he was going to leave? All of us felt scared shitless, save Smoke. What would happen if he..."_

_They all looked up as Scream slowly entered the tent. "What?"_

_"How you feeling, Sarge?" Dim stood up._

_"Like I was hit by a ton of bricks." Scream slowly lowered himself on his cot._

_"You were, Sergeant." Tariq smiled._

_"You mean it was just a ton?" Scream managed to smile back._

_"Yeah. Just a ton." Tariq went over and helped Scream remove his DCU jacket. "Thought for a moment we might have lost you."_

_Scream laid back and heaved a painful sigh. "I'm too much of a goddamned bastard to die."

* * *

_

The room was now clear except for Scream and Captain Baron. In a couple hours, Dim would be on his way to Landsthul. Scream didn't like the fact that Dim would fade in and out of consciousness. One minute he'd be talking and smugly grinning and the next, he'd close his eyes and his vitals lowered.

Captain Baron shared Scream's fears. "He's going to be fine, Scream."

"You promise, Sir?"

Baron sighed. "I wish I could."

Smoke sat outside, looking at the stars with the rest of the group. "Why does Dim go in and out, man?"

DoubleWide shrugged. "We all knew Tariq's death would be a huge impact on him. Maybe he's trying to deal with that."

Angel softly sighed. "Any of you fear losing him too?"

Mrs. B wiped a tear. "Yeah. He's the only one that can decide to live, the Captain said."

DoubleWide played with a stick she found. "What will life be now without Tariq? I mean, when I needed to talk about Sergio, he was there. He wasn't married, but he seemed to know."

"He was going to marry his sweetheart." Mrs. B's voice was soft.

"How ya'll know this?" Smoke asked with disdain. "He never said anything."

"You didn't ask." Mrs. B looked at Smoke. "He spoke often of her, if you'd listened. I can't remember her name, but I do know he loved her deeply and couldn't wait to get home to her."

"Her name was Adiva." Angel spoke, his voice audible. "According to Tariq, she lived up to her name."

"She was a diva?" Smoke laughed.

Angel rolled his eyes. "No."

* * *

_Dim picked up the other picture by Tariq's side as Smoke left. "She's even more beautiful than the other one."_

_Tariq snatched the picture back. "That's the girlfriend."_

_"What's her name?" Dim asked._

_"Adiva."_

_"What's the meaning?" Angel asked before Dim could say any smart-ass remark._

_"Pleasant or gentle."_

_"What does your name mean?" Dim asked._

_"My name?" Tariq looked up._

_"Yeah. Most American names don't have meanings, but other nations names do. What does your name mean?"_

_Tariq sighed. "It means 'Morning star.' I was named for an 8th century Islamic military leader who conquered Spain for the Moors. Go figure." He smiled._

_"So you were sort of destined to be in the military, then?" Dim joked._

_"Yeah, so it would seem." Tariq stared at the picture. "I'm going to marry her when I get back."_

_"She planning it then?" Angel sat up._

_"Nah, man. I ain't asked her yet. See, there's this place in Chicago that we met at and I'm going to take her there and ask her."_

_"Don't forget an invitation for us, pal." Dim smiled as he patted Tariq's shoulder._

_"Nah, man. I couldn't forget you." Tariq laughed at Dim.

* * *

_

_Dim sat cleaning his weapon. He looked over at Tariq, who was on his cot, writing a letter. "What's up, Tariq?"_

_"Nothing. I'm just writing a letter." Tariq softly replied._

_"What's bugging you?"_

_"You mean why does it rub me wrong to be working with amateurs?"_

_"Something like that."_

_"Why do I hate incompetence and stupidity in circumstances where it could easily get me killed?"_

_"Sorry I asked, okay." Dim sighed._

_"I like being alive."_

_"I got it." Dim was sorry he brought the question up._

_"I prefer breathing."_

_"Okay." Dim was now frustrated._

_"These people are as two faced as they come. They want what you have, but they hate what you are." Tariq turned back to his letter._

_"These people?" Dim was shocked._

_"That sound like prejudice to you, Dim? Am I not being politically correct? I'm Iraqi. Did you know that?" Silence let Tariq know Dim didn't. "My parents left this primitive shithole thirty years ago."_

_Dim was taken by surprise. "Geez, I thought you were Persian or something."_

_"Nah, Persians speak Farsi. I speak Arabic."_

_"Guess I didn't know that."_

_"No, why would you? We're only fighting a war here."_

_"Sorry."_

_"Look, they ran away from stupidity and violence and they, uh, settled in Detroit." Tariq laughed a small laugh. "You know stupid and violent you have to be to make Detroit look like a step in the right direction? After 9-11, my, um, my dad, he got beat up pretty bad and my mom, she, uh, she tried to come to my father's defense and she, um, she wound up in the hospital too." Tariq looked sadly at the letter he was writing. "I'm embarrassed to be Iraqi. Those are savages, man."_

_Dim felt a twinge of guilt. "They're not all savages."_

_"No, you don't know what they are..."_

_"Kambashir is just like you."_

_"In what way?"_

_"His parents left. He came back."_

_Tariq looked intently at Dim. "I came back to kill people."

* * *

_

Dim woke up and looked around. The memory of his conversation with Tariq was so real, he expected to see his best friend sitting next to him. Sleep was heavy in his eyes and he fought the urge to close his eyes. "Sergeant?" He whispered.

Scream shifted in the seat. "Yeah, Dim?"

"Where's Tariq?"

Baron and Scream exchanged looks. "He died on the helo, Dim. Angel told you that." Scream was a little concerned.

"I don't remember Angel saying anything, Sarge." Dim closed his eyes. "I can't remember...All I can remember is him..."

"Do you remember what Smoke told you his last words were?" Scream's voice was soft and gentle. He looked at Dim.

Dim shook his head. "No, I don't." Tears filled his eyes. **How could I forget someone telling me that?** He looked up at Captain Callahan, who was checking in him. "How could I forget?"

Captain Callahan smiled. "You've just been through something very traumatic. You'll remember bits and pieces. They'll all..." he looked down at Dim. "Don't you fucking dare!" He yelled as Dim's pulse weakened.

* * *

**The part where Dim and Tariq are having the conversation about Tariq being Iraqi is actually taken from the show. Credit to the OVER THERE writers.**


	10. Smoke And Secrets

Angel sat on Tariq's cot, putting his things in a box to send home to his family. The more things he packed, the more the reality hit him that Tariq was gone. He checked around Tariq's trunk once more and found something at the bottom that he missed. He picked it up and, in Tariq's distinctive writing on the front was SMOKE. "Hey man." Angel looked up as Smoke walked in. "Tariq left this for you, I guess."

"Me?" Smoke took the envelope, surprised that Tariq would leave him anything. He sat on his cot and carefully opened the envelope. "You want me to read it aloud, Angel?"

Angel folded one of Tariq's shirts and put it in the box. "That's up to you."

"A'ght." Smoke sighed. "Let's see. It reads _Smoke...if you're reading this, I guess I made it out of Iraq in a pine box with a cheap flag and you know that's the truth truth."_ Smoke smiled at the memory of them talking about death in the back of the truck on the way to pulling prison guard duty. "_I know that we didn't hit things off in the beginning. I think we both distrusted each other because of goddamned stereotypes, but the truth is, Smoke, you've become a Soldier that anyone would be proud to have on his team. Sure, you're still a little self-centered, but that's what keeps you alive. To be honest, Smoke, I'm glad that I had the chance to call you 'friend'. I don't know what you think, but if you think for one moment I hate you for calling me 'Ahab', don't. You're the only one who could. I'd kick Dim's ass if he tried it. I just hope that your life turns out how you want it to. I hope that you can get past any prejudice you might have to someone of Arabic descent. Maybe Dim's right. Maybe we're not all savages. Only those of us from Detroit aren't. Tell everyone to not cry. I'm one of the Chosen, right? Okay...I gotta cut this out. Thinking about death right now...shit, Smoke. I don't want to think about it. Take care of yourself and of Dim. He needs someone to kick his ass. 'Ahab' (But don't forget my name's Tariq!)"_

Angel wiped a tear. "Hard to believe he's gone."

"Female!" Mrs. B's soft voice echoed in the tent.

"Yeah." Smoke looked up as Mrs. B and DoubleWide walked in.

"Haven't seen you guys since we've been back. How you holdin' out?" Mrs. B sat on Dim's cot.

"Ya know, when Tariq first joined us, I didn't think he'd fit in." Angel sighed. "After all, we didn't train with him and we didn't know a thing about him. Kind of like Scream must have felt when he was assigned to us."

"They've moved Dim to Landsthul. He left last night and they're thinking of..." Mrs. B's voice stopped when Captain Baron and Scream walked in. "Sir."

Captain Baron ignored the fact that two women were in the men's tent, disregarding the rules. "Have a seat." They all sat on the nearest cot. "I'm going totally against protocol, but Sergeant Silas and I think that this is for the best. First, I think we should all talk about what happened and then I've given each of you leave to attend Private Nassiri's funeral. Sergeant Silas will go along as well."

Scream looked around the group. He sighed heavily, his ribs hurting from crying private tears. "Dim's going to be okay. He gave us more than enough scares. He, uh, he had forgotten that Angel had told him Tariq died and we nearly lost him again. Captain Callahan has no explanation of why Dim would be fine one moment and the next near death. He thinks it has to do with the friendship he and Tariq shared and..." Scream wiped a tear. "...and knowing his best friend had died nearly...he's fine now, though."

Captain Baron sat on Angel's cot, across from Angel. "You okay, Soldier?"

"Yes, Sir." Angel wiped a tear. "He actually left Smoke a letter and we just read it and...well, Sir. I don't think it's hit fully he's never...that he's gone, you know, Sir?"

* * *

_Tariq looked at Dim, who was laughing. "What are you laughing at?"_

_"Thanks for the tension relief, Tariq."_

_Tariq smiled. "Of course, but you're up to something. I just know it." He had known Dim would get him back, but was never sure of when, where or how._

_"Nah. I needed to relax." Dim smugly smiled._

_Tariq laughed. "You're up to something and don't pull the bullshit you ain't." He sat on his cot._

_Dim stood up and looked Tariq in the eye. "I ain't up to nothing."_

_"I see it in your eyes, Dim. You're..." Tariq was taken by surprise as Dim kissed him. Tariq backed away so quick he fell off his cot. "What the fuck!"_

_Dim laughed and said nothing as he walked out of the tent.

* * *

_

"How come it didn't affect their friendship?" Smoke asked.

Scream smiled. "It was Dim's way of paying Tariq back for the blow up dolls. He knew Tariq would expect something to that extent, but not something so small. I think it was after that they decided to stop pulling practical jokes on each other...or Tariq did, at least. Dim's smart, but he couldn't hold a candle to Tariq's practical jokes. He couldn't think, really, of how else to get back at him."

Baron was smiling. "Good thing it was you, Silas, that knew about that. That could have gotten their asses booted."

"Yes, Sir. It's why I made sure that the others were on watch, Sir." Scream smiled.

"He ever talk to you about what he was going to do with the Army, Sarge?" Mrs. B quietly asked, her eyes focused firmly on Scream's feet.

"Who? Tariq?" Mrs. B nodded. "Nah. He never did. I sometimes felt as though he felt that he couldn't talk to me." Scream sighed.

"We all kind of felt that way, Sergeant." Angel looked at Scream. "We all like you and were glad when you reupped, but we always felt that, despite what a great leader you are, we couldn't talk to you."

"Well, you had no problem asking me about my reupping." Scream smiled back at Angel. "And yes, it's because I love ya'll." Laughter filled the tent.

"What was he going to do with the Army, Mrs. B?" Smoke asked.

"He was going to make it a career. After he married Adiva...he wanted her to have a life that...and now..." Mrs. B broke down in tears.

"Tariq was married?" Scream asked, surprise present.

"No, Sarge. He was going to get married when he got back. He had planned to ask her in the place in Chicago where they met." Angel looked down to the box.

"He had quite a few secrets, didn't he?" Smoke lay back.

"Yeah, he did." Angel picked up a photo from the box and gave it to Mrs. B. "Like this one."

Mrs. B looked at the picture. "That his niece?"

Angel smiled. "Her name's Zaiba. Tariq told me that her name translates to beautiful or adorned."

"She is cute." DoubleWide sighed as she looked over Mrs. B's shoulder at the picture.

"That's his daughter." The tent fell silent as they all looked at Angel. "He talked a lot about her."

"He never said anything to any of us." DoubleWide spoke.

"He kept a lot of things to himself." Angel sighed.

* * *

_Angel and Tariq sat in the tent, each writing letters home. Angel looked over at Tariq, who fumbled as he tried to catch a picture that had fallen off of his cot. Angel picked it up and looked at it. "She's a cutie. What's her name?"_

_"Zaiba." Tariq took the picture back._

_"How old is she?"_

_"She's three."_

_"She your niece?"_

_"She's my daughter." Tariq looked at Angel, who looked surprised. "Why are you surprised?"_

_"I thought that your religion frowned on..."_

_Tariq smiled. "I don't practice my religion. Haven't since the attacks, man."_

_"Why not?"_

_Tariq sat up straight on his cot. "I don't know. Maybe because I saw what the extremists did to America and I just lost whatever hope." Tariq shrugged. "I don't know." He looked at the picture of his daughter. "What I do know is that I want my daughter to grow up in a safer world, where she doesn't have to worry about extremists flying planes into buildings or using suicide bombers."_

_"I thought having a kid would make one more religious." Angel smiled._

_Tariq quietly laughed. "Yeah, it should, shouldn't it?" Tariq then paused and looked at Angel. "But how can you be religious when you have no faith?"_


	11. Faith In Angels

"He ever say why he lost faith?" Smoke played with the letter in his hands.

"No." Angel lied. "He would avoid the subject. Maybe it had a lot to do with the attacks." Angel looked at the picture of Zaiba. "Whatever it was that made him lose faith went with him to the grave." Angel stood up and walked out. He made his way to a Humvee and sat in the passenger seat.

* * *

_"What happened, Tariq, to make you lose faith?" Angel knew he shouldn't push the issue, but he never really did every thing he knew he shouldn't._

_Tariq sighed and shrugged. "This place, man. I don't know."_

_"You have faith in anything?"_

_"I have faith in breathing." Tariq smiled. "I have faith in you, Angel."_

_"That's not enough, man." Angel smiled back._

_"Sure it is. All I know is that if I'm ever in a situation where I need rescuing, you'd be the one that would do it. I've got all the faith in the world in you."

* * *

_

Dim looked around the hospital. The last thing he remembered was Scream telling him that Tariq had died. He could barely make faces out that passed by him, but he swore he saw Tariq in each of them. He wanted to wake up. **This HAS to be a dream.** He thought. **Tariq's playing a big joke on me for kissing him. That's it. That has to be it.** He frantically looked around.

"You okay, Soldier?" The nurse checking on him asked.

"I'm fine. I just can't help but think this is some sort of dream." A pain in Dim's right leg made sure he knew it wasn't a dream.

"Yeah, it'll feel like that, but you'll be fine. You'll be home in a couple weeks and..."

"Home?" Dim looked up at her, shocked.

"Yeah. Home for some rehab." The nurse wrote in his chart.

"I can't go home. They need me. My team needs me." Dim was frantic.

The nurse reached over and calmed him down. "Don't worry, Solider. You're not going home permanently."

"We have two months left there. Tell me that's not permanent." Dim challenged. "They need me. We lost the best guy on our team and you're sending me home, despite that."

"Calm down." The nurse's voice became demanding. "You'll never return to them unless you do."

Dim settled down and looked up at the ceiling. Life without Tariq was going to be tough, but to know that he couldn't finish his time with his team was going to be nearly as tough.

* * *

Scream looked at the team, sorrow still very present in his eyes. "You okay, Sarge?" DoubleWide asked.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about the time that Tariq, Angel and Smoke tag teamed Dim." Scream smiled as Angel made his way back in the tent.

Angel and Smoke started laughing. "It really was Tariq's idea, but he needed my video camera and Smoke's brawn." Angel shook his head.

Baron looked at the three men laughing. "What was it?"

Smoke wiped a tear from his eye. "I guess with the story Sarge just said, it must have been Tariq's way of getting Dim back for the kiss. But, we still ain't let Dim live this down."

* * *

_Tariq watched Dim leave. "You got a video camera, right, Angel?"_

_Angel nodded. "Yeah, I do."_

_"Mind if I borrow it?"_

_"What for?"_

_"Smoke...mind helping me?" Tariq smiled._

_"What'cha doin'?" Smoke lazily asked._

_"Getting Dim back." Tariq grinned. He looked outside the tent. "Holy shit! This is going to be better than I thought!" He handed the camera back to Angel. "Can you video tape this?"_

_Angel stood up. "Not sure what, but why not? I'm bored as hell." _

_Smoke stood up. "What you need?"_

_Tariq pointed to a portashit. "Dim just went in. I figure we can really embarrass him."_

_Smoke and Angel listened as Tariq explained what they were doing. "Shit! That's the funniest thing I've heard!" Smoke laughed. "Let's do it!"_

_"Ready?" Tariq laughed._

_"Ready." Angel said. "Lights. Camera. ACTION!" He yelled._

_Tariq and Smoke ran towards the portashit, knocking it over, leaving Dim struggling to pull his pants up. As Dim swore up and down, Tariq and Smoke ran away, laughing.

* * *

_

Mrs. B laughed. "Now I understand why you all said he had a nice ass."

"Those two were way too bored, way too often." Baron commented. "Though it's really not any worse than you and me in Somalia, now is it, Sergeant?" Baron's blue eyes sparkled.

"No, Sir." Scream replied back. "In fact, I think Dim must have listened to one of my stories because I do know that Tariq woke up with a couple camel spiders in his cot."

"Yeah." Angel grinned. "He wasn't scared at all. He just picked them up and put them on the ground and went back to sleep."

"Got the complete opposite reaction from Greenfield." Scream laughed. "He screamed like a little girl and wouldn't go back to sleep in his cot for a long time without checking it out first."

"That was Tariq, though, man." Smoke replied. "He was a lot tougher than most people gave him credit for. He had no fears about things. He was a tough little shit."

"Tougher than you, that's for sure." Angel laughed, remembering the camel spider incident with Tariq and Smoke a couple months earlier.

"Let's not go there, Angel." Smoke's words were tough, but his voice was light and his eyes sparkled. "Otherwise I'll have to tell the story of when Tariq..."

"NO!" Angel laughed. "If you do then I've got several more of when Tariq got you really good." Angel's voice was light and good-natured and his eyes shone.

"Hard to believe he's gone." DoubleWide suddenly spoke. "Think we'll ever get used to it?"

"Well, it's only been barely a day." Scream sniffed as he rolled his head. "Who knows? Maybe one day, we will get used to Tariq not being here."

"Can't imagine it." Angel's eyes looked sorrowful and he held a picture of him, Tariq, and Dim goofing off. "That's something I'm not sure I'll ever do."


	12. Adiva And Zaiba

**Disclaimer:** Italicized lyrics belong to Kenny Chesney.

* * *

_Someday's the sky's so blue_

_I feel like I can talk to you_

_And I know it might sound crazy_

_**WHO YOU'D BE TODAY**_

_**by Kenny Chesney

* * *

**_

Angel looked up at the blue sky and wiped a tear. He found it hard to believe it had been a week and they were going home for Tariq's funeral.

"What type of funeral do you think it'll be?" Smoke's voice broke through Angel's thoughts.

"I suppose Muslim." Angel sighed.

"What's that like?" Smoke sniffed.

Angel shrugged. "I suppose we'll find out."

Scream sat next to his young Soldiers. "It's, uh," he coughed. "It's a nice day."

Angel smiled. "Yeah, it is. Tariq would have like the day."

DoubleWide and Mrs. B joined the small group. "I guess his family's washing the body right now." Mrs. B spoke softly.

"Washing the body?" Smoke adjusted his beret.

"I guess that's tradition." Mrs. B shrugged. "Then I guess they'll wrap him up and we'll follow the precession to the cemetery."

"How do you know what the traditions are?" Smoke asked Mrs. B.

"We've been here a couple days. I looked it up on the Internet." Mrs. B smiled. "I may be blonde and from West Virginia, but I ain't all that stupid."

"How do you think Dim is?" DoubleWide asked.

"Probably hating that he's not here." Angel made sure his beret was straight and the Irish Pennant on his uniform was gone. "He was the closest to Tariq."

They all waited silently for someone to come and get them. As Scream, Angel, and Smoke walked with Tariq's father and brothers to the cemetery, Mrs. B and DoubleWide drove behind. Mrs. B's voice was quiet when she looked over at DoubleWide. "Are they upset that we wanted to go too?"

DoubleWide shrugged. "Maybe, but I'd rather them be mad at me than live with the regret of not breaking rules."

"It's funny how they didn't use a coffin for his body." Mrs. B's voice was still soft.

"Yeah. I should read up on this on the Internet." DoubleWide smiled a pain filled smile.

* * *

Vanessa looked at Dim. "You okay, Frank?"

Dim continued to stare out the window. "I'm fine, Vanessa." His voice was flat and he never faced her.

"Talk to me, Frank." Vanessa pleaded.

"About what?"

"Whatever it is that's going on inside you."

"There's nothing, Vanessa, going on inside me." Dim continued looking outside.

"Frank, it's been a week and a half and all you've done is look out that window and..."

"He was fucking 24 years old, Vanessa." He looked sharply at her and snapped. "He was my best friend. He's dead, Vanessa. How the FUCK do you think I'm doing?" Vanessa's eyes filled with tears. Dim hung his head. "Jesus, Vanessa. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay, Frank. Sort of." Vanessa sat next to him. "I understand how angry you must be."

"Survivor's guilt." He took her hand. He had made a choice to work on his marriage after talking to Tariq. "Tariq and I were hit pretty bad in that ambush and it really could have been either of us. The fact that it was him and not me makes me...I..." His eyes filled with tears. "I feel like I betrayed him. Like I let him die.

* * *

_Dim tapped his pen on his lap. He was trying to write home, but couldn't think of what to say. He looked over at Tariq. "What do I say?"_

_"Try 'Dear Eddy' for starters." Tariq smiled as he continued to write his letter._

_"I mean, do I tell Vanessa about our ambush or let her hear about it on the news and leave her wondering."_

_Tariq shrugged. "The choice is yours, Dim. Only you know how she'll respond."_

_"What did you tell your girlfriend?"_

_"About the ambush." Tariq stopped writing and looked at Dim. "She's Army Reserve, so she understands the danger I'm in."_

_"Why is she back home in the States?"_

_"She's not."_

_"Where is she?"_

_"Afghanistan." Tariq looked back down at the letter. "She went there just about the time I came here, so we're both really anxious to get back to the States to our families and our daughter."_

_Dim coughed. "Daughter? You have a daughter?"_

_Tariq looked up. "I didn't tell you? I thought I did. I know I told Angel."_

_"No, I never knew you had a daughter. I saw the picture of the little girl and thought she was your niece." Dim shifted._

_"It's okay. Her name is Zaiba and she's three. She's got me wrapped around her finger." Tariq smiled._

_"Daddy's little girl?"_

_"Yeah. Most definitely. She's my pride and joy. Though, fortunately for her, she looks like Adiva." Tariq joked._

_"She's cute."_

_"Yeah. Good thing I've got a nice collection of guns and grenades to keep the boys at bay when she reaches the age where she's more interested in boys than Sesame Street." Tariq laughed._

_Dim laughed. "So, you're a strict father, eh?"_

_"Nah. I don't discipline her. She'll...she'll look up and, uh, she's got these big brown doe eyes and, uh, she'll say 'Daddy' and I'm gone. I melt." Tariq sighed while smiling. "I can't wait to get home to her and I can't wait to see Adiva again."._

_Scream entered the tent. "Your turn, Tariq."_

_Tariq looked up. "My turn?"_

_Yeah. Captain Baron has arranged a videoconference for all of us. He's got your family on hold and your niece is cute." Scream winked._

_Tariq dropped his letter and ran to the tent. He looked at the communications man. "Okay. I'm ready for my close up." He attempted to crack a joke, but the videographer didn't smile. He merely pointed at a stool and Tariq sat. "Okay."_

_An image came on the screen and Tariq felt his eyes well up with tears as he saw his family. "DADDY!" The youngest member cried and Tariq laughed as she made her way to hug the camera. "I miss yew, Daddy! Tum home?"_

_Tariq wiped some tears. "I miss you, too, baby. Daddy's only got a couple more months here before he and Mommy come home." He continued to laugh and cry as Zaiba kissed the lens. He blew a kiss back at here. "She's fine, Momma." He said as his mother ran to pick Zaiba up._

_"You are missed terribly around here, Tariq." His mother's voice was shaky, but she shed no tears._

_"I miss each of you too. I'll be home soon. I promise."_

_Adiva's mother, Qadira, smiled. "We have talked with Adiva and she is also well, but missing you."_

_"I miss her too. I'm taking her back to Chicago when I get home, and I would like to have your permission to marry her." Tariq felt the nervousness as he asked._

_Adiva's father, Emir, smiled. "But of course. You have already given us a beautiful grandchild. It is time you are a proper family."_

_Tariq smiled. "Thank you, Sir." He looked at the videographer. "I'm told I need to go now. I love all of you! Especially my little princess, Zaiba!"_

_"I love yew too, Daddy." She kissed the lens again and Tariq blew her a kiss. "Tum home now."_

_"Shortly, princess. I love you loads!"

* * *

_

Angel, Smoke, and Scream didn't know what, if anything, to say. Adiva held her daughter close and looked at Scream. She approached him and stuck a hand out. "You must be the Sergeant Scream I heard so much about."

"Yes, Ma'am." Scream lightly smiled.

Angel looked at her. "He spoke often of you, Adiva. He loved you more than he loved life." He was impressed at how well she held herself together.

"He'll be missed greatly. Which one of you is Dim?"

Smoke coughed. "Ain't none of us Dim. He got ripped up pretty bad in the blast himself. He still over in Germany, I believe."

"Why do you ask?" Scream's voice was soft.

"I just wanted to meet the man who Tariq called his best friend and who saved his life." Adiva adjusted Zaiba on her hip. "Tariq spoke so fondly of him and of Angel."

Angel held out his hand. "We loved him."

"You must be Angel. He always said you were the one that always had the right thing to say. He told me of the time you and that medic went into a house to save a young boy. He said you were a Soldier and that he wasn't good enough to hold your coat."

Smoke smiled. "I think he also said that to Dim."

"You are Smoke then?" Adiva took a step back.

"Yeah, I'm Smoke." He suddenly wanted to hide.

Adiva smiled. "He spoke often of you."

"He did?" Smoke was surprised.

Adiva quietly laughed. "He said you were the _ONLY_ one who could call him 'Ahab' and not get an ass whooping."

Zaiba looked at Scream. "When's my daddy tumming home?"

Scream turned his head so that the little girl couldn't see his tears. Adiva put her free hand on Scream's shoulder. "Daddy's not coming home. Not like we want him to, princess. He went to be with Allah."

"I want my daddy." The young girl screamed. "I want my daddy!"

* * *

_Tariq sat in the airport, wishing his two-week R & R didn't have to end so soon. Zaiba was asleep on his lap and his older brother, Amir, sat quiet next to him. "Say something, Amir." Tariq softly played with the soft brown curls of his young daughter's hair._

_"I don't like you going back. You have a family now, Tariq. You must be here for your family. For your daughter. For Adiva." Amir looked at his younger brother. "Think of them."_

_"I am thinking of them and that's why I'm staying in the Army." He looked at Amir. "Don't give me that look."_

_"What look?"_

_"The look Poppa gives us when he thinks we're doing something stupid and crazy."_

_"Well, you are. Why stay in the Army? It'll only take you from the ones you love and who love you."_

_"It is because I love them, Amir, that I'm staying in the Army. The benefits are good and it gives me a chance to make a better place for Zaiba to grow up in and that, my dear brother, you'll find out when you have kids, is love. I don't want her to grow up being beat up like Dad and Mom were. I want her to have a better life and that's why I'm staying in." Tariq heard his flight. He softly woke his sleeping princess. "Daddy's got to go."_

_Zaiba wiped her eyes. "No. Tay here, Daddy."_

_Tariq wanted nothing more, but he kissed her forehead. "Daddy's got to go back so that he can make the world safe for you." Zaiba started to cry. "Don't cry. You know how that bothers Daddy when you cry."_

_"I want you tay." She bawled._

_"I want to stay too, but I can't." He hugged her. "Don't ever forget how much Daddy loves you, Princess." He stood up and Zaiba kept her head on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his neck. "I have to leave, Princess." _

_He tried to hand her over to Amir, but she refused to let go and she howled at the top of her lungs. Amir reached around and loosened her grip on Tariq's neck. He shook his older brother's hand and giving Zaiba one last kiss, headed off through security, his heart breaking with her every scream._


	13. Dim's Nightmare

Vanessa watched Dim sleep. She wondered if this was the first time he slept in a long time. She wiped a few tears as he fought an unseen assailant. She grabbed his arms and he snapped up. "It's okay, Frank." She said as he looked around.

The nurse looked in on him. "Everything okay?"

Vanessa nodded. "Just nightmares." She stood up and spoke quietly to the nurse. "Is there anything we can give him to ease the nightmares? He sleeps okay and then suddenly, he's flailing everywhere."

The nurse gave a sympathetic smile to Vanessa. "Mrs. Dumphy, we can give him something here, but what will you do when you return home and these nightmares continue?"

"I just want him to get some sleep without waking up, fighting someone we can't see." Vanessa's voice was sharp.

The nurse caught on. "I'll see what I can do for your husband, Mrs. Dumphy."

"Thank you." Vanessa returned to her seat and softly stroked Dim's hair. "You okay?"

Dim looked at her. "No, not really, Vanessa. I can't help but think I could have done something."

"Like what could you have done?" Vanessa softly kissed his forehead.

Dim shrugged. "That's the thing, Vanessa. I don't know."

* * *

_**Dim woke up, not sure where he was. He saw Eddy and Vanessa sitting next to him. "Hey!" He walked over to them, but they laughed and ran away. He chased after them. "EDDY! VANESSA!" The farther ahead of him they got, the more frantic he became. He kept screaming their names and chasing them, but he couldn't ever catch up. He watched as they fell into some sort of hole. He looked down at them, watching them as they still laughed and danced.**_

_**Without warning, the whole area around him went blood red. He looked up and saw Tariq walking towards him. "You gotta help me, man." was all Tariq kept saying. Dim held Tariq and as he tried to save his best friend, fire bursts surrounded him. He watched as guns, RPG launchers and mortar rounds went wild around him.**_

_**He picked Tariq up. "You'll be fine, Tariq. You'll be fine." With that, an explosion rocked Dim to the ground. When he regained his composure, he tried to pick up Tariq, but found he couldn't. He started freaking when Tariq would no longer reply or ask for help. As he attempted to help his friend, he was attacked, fighting for his life...

* * *

**_

That was when Dim always woke up. He was thankful to find Vanessa by his side. Despite the problems in their marriage, she was there by his side when she needed him most. He wiped a few tears and looked at her. "It's the same dream, Vanessa."

"Tell me the dream." She sat on his bed. She shuddered when Dim told her. "No wonder you're flailing about."

"Even in my dream, I can't make out who I'm fighting. It's like this war, Vanessa. You never really see your enemies even when you're looking right at them."

Vanessa soothed Dim. "It's okay, Frank."

"I wish it were, Vanessa. The truth is I'm alive and Tariq's not." He looked straight ahead, as though he were trying to see through the wall. "The last thing I remember was the RPG heading right to were we were taking cover after..." Dim's words trailed off.

Vanessa kissed his forehead. "Frank, there's nothing you could have done. According to Angel, you were in as bad of shape as Tariq." She wiped some sweat off Dim's forehead. "It could have been you as well and you gave them some scares."

Dim said nothing. He just kept staring at the wall as though he were watching his life unfold on it.

* * *

_The guy came out of nowhere and shot Tariq point blank. Dim watched his best friend fall and anger overwhelmed him. He yelled as he let off round after round after round into the body of the rebel until he felt satisfied the motherfucker was dead. Until then, Dim never once thought of losing any member, much less his best friend, in the unit._

_Scream was calmer about it. After things calmed down, he pulled the spent bullet from Tariq's vest and helped the breathless, dizzied young man to his feet. For the first time that day, Dim relaxed. Tariq was fine._

_He sat by the fire a few hours later, drinking beer, and looking at Tariq. Dim hadn't suffered real loss in his life and he just about and there wasn't anything worse than the fear of losing someone he cared deeply about. He looked around the group as they talked about the death of Lieutenant Underpants, trying to figure out who shot him. **There isn't anyone in this group I don't care about. If anyone of them were to die in this war, I don't know what I'd do.** Dim thought as they talked._

_He smiled over at Mrs. B, realizing he was fond of her new haircut. He looked at Scream, who, as per usual, had his signature pout. **Jesus, doesn't he ever smile? I mean, the whole time we've been here, he's only smiled once.** He couldn't help but think of what could have happened that day. As they put the fire out, he smiled quickly at Tariq, who understood the smile to be a 'I'm glad you are okay' smile and smiled back._


	14. Dim's Memory

_"Got any questions you wanna ask me?" Dim squinted in the bright sun._

_Tariq looked over to the bullet riddled car. "Leaving those dead guys there for a reason?"_

_"Sergeant thinks the car might be booby-trapped." Dim said non-chalantly._

_Tariq never took his eyes off the car. "Yeah, well, he's not so dumb."_

_"Think he's right?" Dim looked at Tariq._

_"Yup."_

_"How come?"_

_"They're Syrians. Rich kids. At least by the standards of this shithole anyways." Tariq looked at Dim. "See, rural Iraq is like Appalachia compared to Damascus. These kids went to school and could have had a life."_

_"Why come here?" Dim asked, disbelief in his voice._

_"Jihad, man. Holy war against America. For some of these kids it's like the most exciting thing that's ever happened in their world. Look, it's like being a hippie in 1969 and then hearing about Woodstock. How could you not go, you know?"_

_"Yeah, but you die here." Dim didn't see the comparison._

_Tariq looked at Dim. "Yeah, well, they have a different of what that means then you do."_

_Dim was impressed. "How you know all this?"_

_"What? That they're Syrians?"_

_"Well, yeah, for starters."_

_"They're wearing white shoes and chinos, man. One of them had a pair of Ray-Bans. It's not...it's not exactly tribal wear."_

_"Do you think the car might be rigged to blow up?"_

_"Look, I wouldn't want to have to open that trunk."_

_Dim ducked behind the sand bags. He looked at Tariq. "Oh, you think I'm chicken?"_

_Tariq grinned. "No. The thing about these improvised explosive devices, like the one that hit your truck?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah, well, they're improvised by people who don't really know what they're doing. I mean, half of them old ladies kids just...blows up in their faces all the time or goes off whenever."_

_"Put a lot of rounds in that car." Dim pointed out, still squatting behind the sand bags._

_"Yeah, wouldn't make a difference if it's C4. I mean, you could hit C4 with a hammer and it won't go off or you could use a cell phone from a mile away and it will."_

_Dim looked at Tariq. "You wanna tell the Sergeant this?"_

_Tariq softly laughed. "Me? Ha. Nah. No, man. I'm the new guy, remember?" He sat on the sand bags._

_"So you'd rather run the risk of being blown up then running the risk of being wrong in front of the Sergeant?"_

_Tariq smiled back at Dim. "Yeah, that's about the size of it, yeah."

* * *

_

Dim stared at the wall as that conversation replayed over and over in his head. It was the first time he had ever felt incompetent and stupid. **Of course Tariq would have known about that shit. He was Iraqi. He knew.** Dim barely blinked.

"Frank?" Vanessa shook his shoulders, but Dim didn't respond. "FRANK!" Vanessa frantically yelled.

Dim looked at her but didn't see her. "Tariq?"

"No, Frank. It's Vanessa." Her eyes filled with tears. How could he see Tariq but not her? She looked deep in his eyes. "Frank, look at me." His eyes stared into hers. "What were you thinking about that made you think of Tariq?"

Dim just looked at her, but he looked through her. He could only see Tariq and what they had gone through in the war.

* * *

_"I say again, we'll need transportation when we're done, Lieutenant. Over...Negative. Of course not, Rawhide Six. We're not done yet. Out."_

_"The mom snatched him in." Angel said._

_Scream looked up and walked to Angel's side. "You see her?"_

_"Just her arm."_

_"Could've been the dad?"_

_"If he wears a red dress around the house."_

_"Some of these fundamentalists were robes that look like dresses. Alright, this is the deal." Scream looked at his team. "I want two men watching the village at all times. I want to know who visits who and what they do when they get there. I want to know every thing about this dump that we can possibly know from right here. And I want one man watching the road, too, which means we're going to be short on shut eye for a while." He looked at each member of his team. "Angel, you and Dim are up first on the village. Talk about everything, understand? Verify what you think you're seeing with the other guy. I'll take first watch on this side. Tariq and Smoke, you can alternate on the radio." As he made his way to the side of the bunker where he could see the road, Scream mumbled "I can't imagine a stupider way to do this."_

_Dim smugly grinned. "I can imagine a stupider way, Sergeant."_

_Scream looked back at Dim. "Dim, the idea that you might have a real gift for strategic thinking scares the shit out of me."_

_A couple hours later, Smoke was asleep and Angel and Dim were looking at the village. "It's one quiet town." Dim remarked._

_"It is today." Angel replied._

_"You mean cause we're here? Think there'd be more activity if we weren't?"_

_"Think that goat would got fed." Angel kept his scope on the goat that stood by the back door for two hours.

* * *

_

**A/N_: The italic conversations are from OVER THERE. Thanks go to the OT writers_**


	15. Scream's Confrontation and Tariq's Honor

The fire team sat with Adiva, drinking coffee. Zaiba was asleep in Angel's arms and they talked of Tariq. Adiva smiled. "He was smart. He seemed to know...he had this way of being able to read a situation clearly and acting on it. He could read people like I've never seen anyone read people."

Double Wide grinned slightly. "He was really easy to talk to."

Adiva smiled back. "He was just that way. He had so few enemies." She looked over at Smoke, who huffed. "He never saw you as an enemy, Private Williams. He saw you as someone who needed a friend more than anyone."

Smoke looked around, his tough guy act now long gone. "He's right, though. And he..." He stopped for a moment. "He was a good guy."

Scream looked over at Smoke. "He was. But you two about drove the rest of us insane. Him trying to be nice to you and you scoffing at him, like you had some sort of act or reputation to uphold."

"I did." Smoke never looked at Scream. "I came from the streets of Compton, where it was be tough or die. I never learned anything else."

Angel rocked Zaiba softly, humming a lullaby. He looked over at Smoke. "Tariq taught you a lot."

Smoke grinned a cock eyed grin. "Yeah, he did."

* * *

_"You serious, Ahab?" Smoke was incredulous._

_"Yeah, man. That's the truth." Tariq's brown eyes sparkled and Dim and Angel knew he was pulling a fast one on Smoke._

_"How come they don't believe you?" Smoke nodded to Angel and Dim._

_"Because we already know it's true." Angel tried to keep from laughing._

_Dim's laughing gave the joke away and Smoke glared at Tariq. "Told you it wasn't true."_

_Tariq cast a glare Dim's way. "Dim ain't laughing at this, man."_

_Dim gained his composure. "Of course not, Smoke. I was merely recalling the whole camel spider incident."_

_"That's bullshit, Dimwit." Smoke shot back. "Why you do this to me?"_

_"You're so easy to pick on." Tariq laughed._

_"Yeah, that's great coming from a hobbit." Smoke shot back._

_"OH?" Tariq playfully huffed. "See the thing about hobbits is that you don't want to piss us off. I mean, we can beat up ankles very well." He tried to play tough, but Tariq broke out laughing._

_Smoke grinned at first, but soon found himself laughing with the others.

* * *

_

"Yeah, that boy had some comebacks like I ain't never heard." Smoke wiped a tear.

"Yeah. He was funny." Scream slightly smiled.

"Where is he?" A voice yelled from the back. "Where is the man that killed my brother?" Amir Nassiri pulled Scream up by his uniform. "It is because of you my brother is dead and my family grieves."

Scream gently removed the young man's hands from his uniform and rolled his head. "I did not kill your..."

"He went back to Iraq because of you." Amir hit Scream hard against the jaw.

Adiva stepped in. "Tariq went back to do his duty to his country, Amir. No one made him."

Amir looked at Scream, who was rubbing his jaw. **"Elif air ab tizak!"**

Adiva slapped Amir. "We will not use such words at Tariq's funeral. Respect your brother." Amir walked off and Adiva looked back at Scream. "I apologize for Amir's behavior. He and Tariq were close and Amir never cared for Tariq fighting for America in Iraq."

"It's okay." Scream straightened out his uniform. "What did he say anyway?"

Adiva shook her head. "Words I will not repeat, but it wasn't a nice thing to say."

"He not like America?" Angel rocked Zaiba back to sleep.

"Amir? Sadly, no." Adiva sat down. "He felt that Tariq betrayed us when he went to Iraq for the infidel, as Amir said."

"He a radical?" Smoke sat back down.

"Yes. Very much so. As he became more and more radical, he and Tariq grew farther and farther apart. After the Towers fell, Tariq felt impelled to fight FOR America and Amir felt impelled to fight AGAINST America and they were only civil to each other when they were around family. There were many times during they would argue about America. Tariq loved America more than life and he...he..." She stopped for a moment to allow stray tears to fall. "He felt there was no greater honor than dying for America." She pulled out a letter. "I carry this always and I don't know why. It was a letter I got the day after we heard of his death."

"Would you read it?" Mrs. B's soft voice broke through.

Adiva smiled. "Parts, yes." She unfolded the letter. "Bear with me, please, as I try to figure out what parts of it are okay to read." She took a deep breath. _My dearest Adiva, how time is dragging on out here. Seems like the days grow longer and longer the closer we are to heading home. We did get ambushed today, but luckily no one was severely injured. I got a huge bruise on my forearm. But I realised something in that fire fight. Under my Kevlar, I carry a picture of the three of us taken just before we deployed. I realised that what I'm doing over here, it's going to make a difference. I know we may not see it. Not yet anyway, but like Mr. Pritchard felt when fighting in Vietnam, I'm keeping the terrorists from attacking America again. If we continue to fight them here, how can they go there? I do fear that Amir and his friends may try something though. Hopefully the family can keep him out of trouble. Anyway, in this ambush today, I finally realised that I could die out here. You think that getting shot point blank would make it real, but somehow that didn't even click, you know? But, no matter what the family, especially Amir, may think, to die for America, fighting to protect her shores, you, Zaiba, and my family and friends, well, Adiva, that would be an honor. I don't know why death should be an honor, but it is a burden I have chosen to carry and carry it I will. Just know that not even death can stop my love for you or Zaiba."_

Adiva put the paper in her lap and Scream put his arms around her, letting her cry on his shoulder. "He will be missed by everyone." He soothed.

Adiva looked up at Scream and put a hand on his cheek. "He always spoke so highly of you and now I know why."


	16. Practical Jokes

_Mrs. B sat quiet. Even in Iraq, she sought solitude to figure things out. She was so focused on things that she didn't see Tariq sit next to her. "You okay?"_

_Mrs. B jumped. "Shit, Tariq. You scared me." Tariq laughed. "What?" Mrs. B shot back._

_"After your driving the other day, no one would ever think you got scared."_

_Mrs. B slightly smiled. "That scared me shitless, Tariq. Those mortars...well, it makes one think." She sighed softly._

_Tariq nudged her. "If anything had happened to you, we would have leveled that town, regardless of the protection."_

_Mrs. B smiled up at him. "For me? Ya'll would have done that for me?"_

_"Yeah. In case you noticed, there's a shortage of women here and well, men are men and...OUCH!" He said as Mrs. B playfully punched his shoulder._

_"Only you can say that you know and just get a playful punch." She smiled._

_"Well, we wouldn't have let them hurt you anyhow." He nudged her again, making her blush and smile.

* * *

_

"Tariq said ya'll two weren't his type." Smoke shrugged.

"We weren't." Double Wide said.

"Then why he..."

"He was just that type of guy, Smoke." Mrs. B's voice was a whisper. "You never really, I mean, let him show that side. He liked you because if anyone of us called him 'Ahab', he'd have kicked our asses. You never saw that side of him because it wasn't until recently you saw who Tariq really was."

Adiva smiled. "Tariq was every woman's dream and every mother's son." She laughed. "But, he was full of mischief."

Angel allowed a laugh to escape, nearly waking Zaiba up. "That he was. Remember the time that Underpants got glued to the portashit seat?"

The group laughed. Scream looked at Angel. "Yeah, and how even Captain Baron tried to keep Underpants from finding out it was Tariq."

"He thought it was me." Smoke smiled. "Yet, Tariq said nothing."

"Yeah." Angel laughed. "It was even funnier because he meant that for Dim."

"He what?" Scream's eyes about popped out of his head.

Angel smiled. "Yeah. Tariq was looking at getting Dim back for the markers."

* * *

_Tariq looked in the mirror. "Shit, Dim!"_

_Dim laughed. "Don't mess with the best, man." Tariq tried to wash off the mustache Dim drew on his face. "No use, Tariq. It's permanent marker." Dim laughed harder as Tariq scrubbed harder._

_Finally, Tariq gave in. "You have no idea who you're messing with, do you Dimwit Dumphy?"_

_"You can't out joke me, Tariq. May as well wave that white flag while you have the shot." Dim's smug grin annoyed Tariq._

_"Never!" Tariq walked off.

* * *

_

Angel smiled. "It was shortly there after that Tariq got Dim back bad."

Adiva smiled at Angel. "Let me guess. It was the hand in hot water?"

"No, ma'am." Angel looked down as Zaiba stirred.

* * *

_Smoke was speechless. "You're kidding, Tariq?"_

_"Nah. He'll learn to not mess with me." Tariq rubbed his face, still covered with Dim's artwork. "Any minute now."_

_"SHIT!" Dim's high-pitched scream echoed through the camp._

_Smoke and Tariq stood outside the tent while Dim ran for the mess tent. "What's he looking for and why's he walking so funny?" Smoke nudged Tariq._

_"Heet." Tariq laughed. "That's a burn that will stick around for a while."_

_"You know he's going to want revenge, right, Ahab?"_

_"Bring it on." Tariq patted Smoke's shoulder and headed back inside the tent.

* * *

_

Scream laughed. "They never did quit. Well, until that kiss anyway."

"What kiss?" Adiva was shocked.

Scream looked at her. "It was a practical joke. Dim and Tariq were so close that they would often play gay and make everyone laugh and despite that, no one doubted they were straight. Well, Tariq got Dim back with some blow up dolls and Dim decides to get Tariq back by laying a big wet kiss on him. It was shortly there after, the jokes stopped. Guess Tariq couldn't think of how to get Dim back on that one."

"But, he did, though." Smoke snorted. "That was when we tipped over the portashit."

Scream smiled. "Yeah, guess so." He sighed. "Jesus, I'll miss those two goofing off in spare time."

"I'll just miss them." Mrs. B sighed.


	17. A Month Later

The rain fell and Dim tried to read, but he couldn't relax. He adjusted himself on the couch, thinking if he changed positions, he'd be comfortable. **Jesus, it's no use.** he thought as he adjusted for the third time in as many minutes. It had been a month since the explosion that nearly claimed him and claimed his best friend. **That's it. That's why I can't be comfortable and relax.** Dim tried to reason with himself. He saw a car pull up and wondered who it could be visiting on a lousy day. He smiled slightly when he saw the outline of Scream. He grabbed his crutches and opened the door to welcome his Sergeant. "Sergeant Scream." Dim smiled.

"Dim." Scream's reply, though short and sharp, resonated relief that Dim was going to be okay. Despite the scares. Despite the fact he knew Dim lived, Scream felt relieved to see Dim standing in the doorway.

"What brings you here?" Dim hobbled to the side to allow Scream inside.

"We wanted to check on you." Scream nodded.

"'We'?"

"You don't think he'd come alone, do you, Dimwit?" Dim smiled when he heard Smoke's voice.

Vanessa stood behind Dim and watched as his friends lined the house. "When did you guys return?"

Angel looked at her. "Yesterday. But, we wanted to surprise Dim, so we're glad you forgot."

Mrs. B gave Dim a hug. "Glad you're alright. Here. I got this for you and Vanessa in Kuwait." She handed him a small package.

He unwrapped it. "It's lovely." He handed Vanessa the porcelain figurine. "Thank you."

"We just want to know you're okay, Dim." Double Wide smiled.

"I'm hanging in there." Dim closed the door. "It just...just..."

"It's okay, Dim." Angel patted his shoulder. "I found this in Tariq's things and thought you should have it." He handed Dim a picture.

Dim looked at the picture, tears welling up in his eyes. "This was taken that day."

"Of the explosion?" Vanessa gently took the picture.

"Yeah." Dim wiped a tear.

Angel looked at Vanessa. "It was a disposable camera he got at the PX and it's the very last picture on the camera. It was the camera, not the picture, I found. Guess I should have made that clear." He smiled.

Vanessa smiled back. "How long after this did you go?"

"Hour." Dim hobbled back to the couch. "With in three, he was gone." He sat down. "All we did was go to remove a car from a school and hand out candy to the kids. It was a shit mission as far as the car went, but those kids." He smiled. "They...they wanted nothing more than to be next to us, especially Tariq. They would hold our hands and hug our legs. Their laughter..." Scream sat next to him and patted his shoulder. "The sound of their laughter was enough to make us realise that, no matter the lies that brought us there in the first place, we were doing and had done the right thing."

"They made it worth it." Smoke agreed. "And that one little girl, no older than 12, who refused to leave Tariq's side." He laughed.

Angel's soft laugh echoed through out the tiny home. "Tariq said that she told him he was her future husband."

* * *

_The kids stood in the distance, even though they wanted to see what was going on. Tariq looked around as cars drove past, the orphanage bombing still present in his mind. He never understood why the fanatics had to kill kids. One little girl smiled at him and refused to leave his side. Tariq could only quietly laugh and shake his head as she spoke to him._

_"What did she say, Tariq?" Dim asked._

_"She's going to be my wife." Tariq grinned._

_"Robbing cradles now, Tariq?" Dim joked back._

_"It's tradition, right?" Smoke's question, though serious, was not meant with malintent._

_Tariq laughed. "Not really. Some sick families may do that, but who knows? In 6 years, she could be available...What?" He laughed at Smoke's look._

_"Nothing. It's just weird that you're talking about...I don't know." Smoke sighed._

_Tariq patted Smoke's shoulder. "No, it's not tradition. Even over here, they have some morals, right?"_

_Smoke shrugged. "Not if they kill their own people." Smoke unsuccessfully tried to shoo off a little boy who wanted to hold his hand._

_Dim smiled. "Yeah, but if these kids are any indication of what the future is for Iraq, we've done something good, right?"_

_Scream looked at the guys. "Enough. We have a job to do and we need to do it."_


	18. Dim's Reactions

Despite the company and the laughs, Dim didn't feel much like doing anything. He sat and listened to the stories and watched Vanessa and Eddy's reactions as Scream told them about the shit they'd done in Iraq. Dim sighed heavily and, grabbing his crutches, made his way to the backyard. He stood in the rain, thankful it was at least a warm rain. He had his back to the house and didn't hear anything until a voice spoke up behind him. "Dim?"

Dim turned around and saw Angel standing there. "Angel." He was short and sharp.

Angel stood beside Dim. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Angel." Dim's sharp tone didn't die. He pursed his lips together, hoping that if he were quiet enough, Angel would leave him alone. He was thankful to have served with the men he did and deep down he was thankful they came to visit, but Dim was growing weary of people asking him how he was doing.

"You're not okay, Dim. Talk to me." Angel's voice was a soft contrast to Dim's sharp voice.

"I'm tired of people asking me if I'm fine, Angel." Dim looked at him. "I got a goddamned piece of shrapnel in my leg, positioned just so that if they were to remove it, I'd fucking bleed to death. Every morning, I wake up wishing I _HAD_ died because the pain is too much. I lost one of my best friends. I nearly died. How the fuck do you think I'm doing, Angel?" As soon as he heard the tone of his voice, Dim winced in pain. He had spent the better part of the last month angry and, despite efforts to contain it, he let it all out on the one man that hadn't left his side. "I'm sorry, Angel. I..."

Angel smiled. "It's okay, Dim. I'm sure I'd respond the same way." He patted Dim's shoulder.

Dim felt the tears fall and he was thankful that he could say it was rain. "I never got to say bye." Angel stood silent, looking at Dim. "I hate the fact that I didn't get to." He sighed. "Tariq was my best friend, Angel. He understood people better than...he understood me and I never got to tell him how much I appreciated his friendship."

Angel smiled. "He knew."

"Yeah, but all those practical jokes, and the final..." Dim shrugged. "I can't even recall the last thing I said to him."

"Ain't none of us can, Dim." Angel hung his head. "But see, as far as the jokes go, you and Tariq did things that only best friends could get away with." Angel laughed. "I remember Tariq talking about the last joke you pulled on him."

"The kiss." Dim laughed. "Yeah, I've no idea where that came from, but it stopped him. Well, after he and Smoke tipped over the portashit."

"Yeah. See, if that was anyone else, Tariq would have leveled his ass so quick." Angel chuckled. "He told me that it was a good kiss." Angel's eyes danced.

Dim saw the dancing eyes. "It wasn't even a real kiss. It was a peck."

Angel laughed. "He said that he would have had you then and there if it wasn't a tent." Tears of laughter started streaming down his and Dim's face.

"He never said anything to me." Dim wiped a couple tears and raindrops from his face. His side was hurting from laughing, but he dismissed it. "I mean, had I known, it wouldn't have been just the peck." Dim's green eyes were alive again and Angel noted that. Dim sighed. "Jesus, Angel. I miss him."

"We all do." Angel sighed. "I mean, he was the only one who could let things go. He was laid back. He got uptight with those Iraqi Soldiers though."

"Did you know Tariq was Iraqi?" Dim looked over at Angel. "Judging by the look on your face, I'd say you didn't."

"I thought he was Syrian or something." Angel looked at Dim, shock still present in his eyes.

"I thought he was Persian." Dim looked ahead. "He was embarrassed by it."

"He told you?"

"Yeah. He was writing a letter home and we got talking." Dim sighed. "He told me he was Iraqi and how embarrassed he was. He also said something that I didn't know how to take."

"What was that?"

Dim looked at Angel. "When I told him Kambashir was like him, Tariq looked me square in the eye and said 'I came back to kill people.' and..." Dim's voice trailed off.

Angel said nothing. He looked straight ahead and he and Dim stood there, in the rain, saying nothing.


End file.
